pacifisting | dynamight

From:

[ It's a special kind of hell not being able to drag him down for kisses, or to cuddle in close but he's able to hide his teary eyes which is a friendly enough gesture he's made most of their friends suffer through. Midoriya is a crybaby and growing older hasn't changed that. The group chat's favorite video right now is the one where he's talking post-rescue and someone asks him if he wants to hold the dog he rescued. The answer was yes, obviously, but watching it he feels less "All Might rescuing busloads of people" and more "Deku rescued some people and then cried over an animal" but it's progress.

They're both too wide and broad to play human shield terribly well and Midoriya's never been great at hiding and subtlety. He still tries, though, and laughs his way through a shuddery breath at the hand on his chin, the face in his hair.

Now would be a good time to say I love you, if he were brave enough but he holds those words back for now. They're for when he gets home again, maybe. A year won't do anything to dull what he feels, he's certain. ]

I would never. [ There's never ever been any danger of Bakugou being forgettable but he knows what Bakugou means. ] You mean way too much for that to ever-- no way, Kacchan.

[ He shakes his head furiously, wiping at his cheeks with another huffed laugh. He should have stolen some of Bakguou's clothes like he wanted to. A sweater, or something to wear on the flight. Midoriya had debated it doing last minute packing but held off, and now - well. Now he could do that he supposes, but before he can suggest it Bakugou's tugging at his face, directing him to look up. Anger would be easier. Anger is something he's used to dealing with, especially when it came to Bakugou.

This is different and then Bakugou says his name and Midoriya's hands fist tightly into the front of his Bakugou's clothes to tug at him. ]

You can't cheat and call me Izuku, you never do that. [ He's smiling despite everything, even if his eyes are red and his cheeks are wet. He could tell him. It's not like Bakugou doesn't know, but he doesn't want him to be under a year of pressure to say it back if he's not able to right now. He can't. Instead, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. It's folded in half, and he doesn't let Bakugou open it yet. His fingers linger against Bakugou's own a few moments longer than he absolutely needs to and then he swipes at his cheeks again. He's fine, he's got this. He can keep smiling even if it's a little wobbly. ] Let everyone else take care of you a little too, okay? Or, you know, try. Kirishima is a good compromise.

From:

dynamight

[There's nothing more infuriating than Midoriya's absolutely devastating, cute crying face. Bakugou really shouldn't get off on the tears as much as he does, but at least now a days it's less true abuse and more this embarrassingly strange urge to protect.

Small blessings.

He can rest easy knowing he has one bullet in the Deku chamber, locked and ready to fire. Carefully, he raises an arm and drapes it around Midoriya's shoulders and neck, dropping his forehead against Midoriya's own. To others, especially to those who don't know them so well, it passes for a hug. To the two of them, it's as close as he can get to hide his lips when they start mopping the wet, freckled cheeks. Warm, salty Midoriya tears. Delicious.

The hand with the paper is captured is his own as it tries to flee, and he squeezes their palms together with the folded note lodged between. He pulls Midoriya's hand to push both of theirs into the pocket of his jacket, depositing the paper safely there together.] Shitty idiot Deku. [It's practically a whisper, endearing, but a make-up for the first name.

The hand around Midoriya's neck lifts to curl into the back of the other's hair, gripping, not rough but firm. He kisses Midoriya's lips in the secrecy of their arms and shoulders, hungry and mourning, knowing it'll be the last for a while. So to hell with being in public and being looked at. To hell with it for this moment.

Until he pulls away, barely satisfied and flushed, only to see about four (friendly) head-hands combos pressed flush against the semi-tinted windows of the buildings, looking in at them. The rage thermometer busts mercury out of the top almost immediately because he's embarrassed, more so when it's their peers.]

YOU BASTARDS NEED A FUCKING FREE EYE EXAM?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?! MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS YOU WORTHLESS BLOODBAGS!

From:

pacifisting

[ He just cries harder when Bakugou starts doing that, but it's less huge, heaving sobs and more wet laughter as he pushes at Bakugou and then pulls him back as if he cannot decide what he wants. ]

Stupid Kacchan.

[ It's a secret whispered between them, affectionate against Bakugou's lips as he folds himself in against the other man and accepts the kiss with a quiet little intake of breath. He's honestly shocked Bakugou would let him kiss in the airport to begin with but that he's the one who starts all of this is the true shocker here. It's hidden, they're secret, but still.

The kiss leaves him warm down to his toes and Midoriya smooths his hands over Bakugou's stomach and chest, lingering without it ever being too obvious that he's touching for the sake of touch. Of course - of course moments later, he catches sight of what's probably their friends and Midoriya bursts into helpless laughter, sagging against Bakugou's chest to tuck his head under his chin, squeezing him. ]

Shhhh, Kacchan, you'll just make it worse. You know they're nosy. [ Midoriya shamelessly wipes his cheek against the chest of his hoodie, inhaling Bakugou's scent one more time before he forces himself away. It's clear he's hyping himself up for it, dragging Bakugou into another fierce hug, pressing a kiss against his throat when his face is hidden. ] Okay. Okay, I can do this.

From:

dynamight

Don't wipe your shitty tears on me, Deku. [The threat holds no air. He accept these tear stains and will wear them proudly. He can't believe he'll even miss the goddamn crying.

This parting is the worst.] You better do it. You can't fucking back out now. [Bakugou won't let him. He may not have accepted their split, but he has accepted the fact this is a growing opportunity for Midoriya.

His arm crushes the other gently into his chest, his hand fisting in the clothes at the other's shoulders.] Don't disappoint him. [A whisper in Midoriya's ear, and he knows the other understands who he's talking about.] Don't fucking waste this and come back as shitty as you fucking left. [His voice drops even lower, and he pauses for a moment as if he's not sure he wants to say it at all.] I'm counting on you.

[Almost immediately, he loosens and draws somewhat away finally, giving them the needed air and the space.] Stop fuckin crying, you stupid baby. [He thumbs over the swell of one of Midoriya's cheeks... but then wipes it on Midoriya's chest because he's trying to at least pretend to be a piece of shit here.]

Go. Before you miss your plane like a moron.

[He makes room, but then quickly realizes something and reaches out to grab Midoriya by the arm.] Wait. Idiot. Here. [He exchanges the paper in the jacket pocket to the pocket of his pants instead, then shrugs out of it by peeling it off his arms. He dumps it carelessly over Midoriya's head.] Why didn't you wear one?

You're garbage already, and you haven't even left yet.

From:

pacifisting

I really can't, plane tickets are so expensive.

[ Midoriya melts when he's manhandled, nodding furiously at the whispered instructions. He won't let All Might down. He won't fail the one person who they're trying so hard to emulate, to match the legacy of in some manner. He'll train and learn and be good at this and he'll come back to help them defeat the League of Villains. There's only one option, one course of action and it's that. ]

I'm counting on you to keep everyone in line here. [ He's kidding, mostly; he's counting on Bakugou to keep the rest of them safe, to keep the city safe, to watch over all of them and make sure that nothing happens while Midoriya is gone. Everyone else is self-sufficient, sure, but Midoriya also knows that Bakugou and Todoroki are still the strongest. The city will be fine without him for a while. Japan will be fine without him for a while.

His backpack slithers off a shoulder and he shoves his head into the hoodie, arms popping through, shamelessly wrapping himself in it as he hefts his backpack up again. It smells like Bakugou and while it's not the same as bringing him, it's still good. ]

Thank you, Kacchan. [ He looks like he wants to say something else at first, and then he dips in for one more aggressive, firm hug. Two seconds and then he pulls back, wiping his cheeks, waving at their friends in the window. He turns around and marches determinedly to the check-in station, shoulders square, and gets on his plane eventually. His mom gets a text, the group chat gets a text and then he sits there uncertain what to say in Bakugou's, deleting and typing and deleting over and over again until he finally settles on: ]

Thanks for the hoodie.

[ And then a shot of him in his seat, bundled up against the window with the hood up, backpack acting as a pillow. ]

From:

dynamight

[Fifteen minutes in when the ramp is taken away and the plane starts to get bussed to the landing strip is when Bakugou realizes. The rest of the group of their friends are beyond startled when he takes off through the airport at top speed, screaming "Deku," out running even the few confused security. They don't have to see him outside.

He sees himself outside.

Races down along the sidewalk and out into the flight instructor area where the ramps all are; how many employees yell that he can't be here is a mystery. All his hoarse voice can scream is Deku, but he wears himself out to a slow stop, lungs heaving, feeling like he can vomit, his hands clutching his knees.

This stupid fucking piece of shit. This absolute moron! Midoriya had left without him giving back goddamn One For All, and Bakugou won't ever forgive himself for it as the plane just keeps rushing down the strip like it hadn't even noticed. Hates it. Hates it.

In the end, he gets a very intense warning that falls on numb ears, and everyone else bows and apologizes profusely on his behalf (they're so confused) as he stands there with his hands in his pockets. They all want to hang out and go eat after, but he refuses with enough sourness to rival how he had been when he was a teenager in U.A. He's Tired, something deeper than the body. It's Kirishima who can read him, who takes up for him and convinces everyone else to let him have his alone time.

The only reason he can see the indecisive typing is because he has his phone open for the longest time, sitting in the taxi, waiting, expecting. What he gets is fine. It's acceptable.]

You look fucking stupid.

[It's full of so much unspoken endearment, one that only Midoriya will understand. He saves the picture just in case. Tells no one.] You forgot something fucking important, you bastard. The next time I see you, I'm going to kill you. [Tomorrow, he'll probably break the extra toothbrush being so angry about Midoriya forgetting to let him give the transferable quirk back.]

From:

pacifisting

[ This...isn't what All Might had in mind when he passed on his quirk, but it's Midoriya's now. Japan's not actively in danger but it makes him feel a thousand times better to know that Bakugou is the one protecting it with his powers and a touch of Midoriya's own. It's just a bit of them, just a small percent the same way All Might did it but in a way it's the safest thing he can do. He has no idea what'll happen when he's working overseas if something bad did happen, at least Bakugou would both know and be able to pass on One For All.

The text message back isn't a shock; Midoriya grins a little when he sees it, leaning his head against the window as he watches Japan fall away from underneath them. At first he thinks that he's gotten away clean and then there's another text. Ah. There it is. ]

:( You'll just have to give it back to me when we see each other again. Did you open the note?

[ He has no patience and wants to know if it was the right thing to do, if he'd chosen a good going away present or not. There's not so much he can do to make Bakugou happy from afar but it's only a year. ]

I'm going to be thinking about you the whole time, you know. Don't worry, I'll focus on what I need to do, too, but it hasn't even been ten minutes and I miss you.

From:

dynamight

[For at least thirty minutes, he doesn't answer because he just can't. Seeing the words immortalized on the screen of his phone make him tingle from head to toe, make him vibrate.

Resting the phone on his thigh, he digs into his pocket for the paper, twirls it uncertainly between his wide fingers for a few moments. The fuck did Midoriya give him... Carefully, he unfolds it to read, and, at first, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. The words on the paper do, but why Midoriya would give him a receipt of this basically...

Until he does understand what this means. He wrinkles the edge of the paper because he balls his fist into it (doesn't tear it, thankfully), and his face pinches ugly. He won't. Not in a taxi. Not him.

But he does. Hot tears scald his eyes, a few slipping down his face, and he hides all of it in the crook of his elbow and arm, rolling his head back as if that'll keep him from crying. It isn't sobs, it isn't screams. Silent, appreciative, longing tears which last only briefly.]

Die.

[Evidence enough it's been opened.] You owe me this, damn Deku. You better fucking come back and not cop out on your shitty promise. I'm gonna enjoy breaking you into the ground. [Midoriya should have expected this surely. It's classic Katsuki Bakugou.

It's not until later during the night (for him) that he texts the good stuff. Midoriya may not even see it or respond to it for a while, being busy, flying, changing flights, getting settled. What matters is it's sent at all. That's good enough for Bakugou.]

Miss you, idiot.

From:

pacifisting

[ He worries at first it's a mistake. It's one thing to leave someone you care about for a year (it's not even a year, he fully intends to visit, or to get Bakugou out here in the summer) but it's something else to be so many miles apart. Then, he realizes it's not that Bakugou isn't responding it's that they're flying over the ocean and the wi-fi is dead. Feeling a little foolish, he pockets his phone and does his best to crash for a couple hours, curled into the corner.

He calls his mom when he lands, calls her and everyone else just briefly again despite the terrible hour when he is finally in New York. Everything else passes in a blur; an absurdly nice car picks him up and he dozes for a while inside of it, the sun starting to go down, the air cooling off. When they get to the tower, the hero he's supposedly working for isn't there but a very nice woman named Pepper is, and she doesn't give him shit for his half-awake stumbling English. Better still, she speaks Japanese and gets him settled with minimal fuss.

Even the exhaustion can't keep him down, though. The moment they're in the elevator he's asking questions and rather than annoyed she seems pleased with him, which is something. There's an AI here, apparently, built by someone who has to have a brain-enhancing quirk or something. He hasn't seen it yet, but he asks a million questions and she answers them. Twenty-ninth floor, and yes, Mr. Midoriya, I am listening.

Pepper has to usher him out because he's gesturing at the elevator, but abruptly he realizes that the AI can still hear him and now he's torn between talking to both of them. Tony's going to eat him alive and Steve is going to adopt him., Pepper says to the AI (Jarvis, Midoriya remembers and absolutely doesn't have a fit) which ought to be concerning but it's actually kind of ridiculously exciting.

Finally, he's left alone, dumping his bags off to the side, throwing himself into the frankly obscene sized bed with obscenely nice covers, and he pulls out his phone. ]

Miss you more. Everyone here is nice, but it's not home. It's kind of weird. There's an AI, though, sort of like the robots on I-Island I guess, but smarter. I don't start until Monday, technically so I'm going to see what's in the area. I'm gonna send this hoodie back when it stops smelling like you and you gotta send me another one, ok??

From:

dynamight

[Honestly, Bakugou doesn't know whether to be jealous or happy hearing about Midoriya's first exploits. America seems so strangely foreign, so different. The people are different, the land, the cities, the culture.

I-Island sort of AI, and he wants to be there to shove himself between Midoriya and everything else around. On top of Midoriya sending him embarrassing shit like the thing about the hoodies. CEASE.

It's bad enough he's been seemingly grouchy. Kirishima has texted him a few times since just to make sure he's doing alright, but he's ignored a few and only given one- or two-word responses to others. Bless good boy Kirishima for understanding, for being patient. He doesn't deserve friends like these really.]

Don't be a damn moron and get into trouble before you even fucking start work. Pay attention to your damn surroundings too! They're Americans. [He's not exactly being racist so much as he just has the stereotypical view of how Americans seem to... Be.] Text me when you get back so I know you're not fucking dead.

I'm not sending shit until you've worn holes in that one.

[He can't believe it's only been the equivalent of one day, and he's already having a nervous breakdown about Izuku Midoriya being in another country.]

From:

pacifisting

[ Bakugou gets a series of photos instead of a proper response; one is of the bed. Another photo, a selfie of him in it. He looks fine, if tired, hair mussed. He's still wearing Bakugou's hoodie.

There are a few more sent in quick succession: the tower, some restaurants and other things that he passed on the way in, and then one of the view from where he's staying. It's absurdly nice, all of New York laid out underneath him. As soon as those are taken and sent, though, Midoriya strips off everything but boxers, hoodie and tshirt and crawls right back into bed, phone nearly pressed against his nose. ]

Everyone has been extremely nice, Kacchan, I don't think it'll be a problem.

[ More pressing: he wants more of Bakugou's clothes, thanks!!! ]

:( :( :( I don't want to wear holes in your clothes, I want to wear ones that smell like you and until your merchandise team comes up with a cologne that smells the same you have to send them or I'm gonna have Kirishima steal some and give them to me.

From:

dynamight

[Whenever Midoriya happens to get them, they're there.]

I said be careful, jackass. Don't talk back to me.
Stupid hair better not touch any of my damn clothes.
I'LL send them goddammit.
I'm not making fucking cologne either fuck off.
I don't want everyone smelling like me all the time.
That's fucking weird.
Just deal with the hoodies.

[Don't talk about wearing his clothes, what the heck. He's already suffering enough as it is with Midoriya being gone from his general vicinity.

But the pictures are nice. He keeps looking back over them a few times (saving the one of Midoriya), trying to make out details, memorize things in case he needs them later. In case anything happens. America is... so different. The buildings are similar, but they just don't feel like Japanese buildings. The sky? Is it even the same Japanese sky? The food is going to be so different, too.]

The bed is too big for you.
How rich are these fucks?

From:

pacifisting

[ He calculates what time it is in Japan and doesn't tell Bakugou to bed like he wants to; he might be tired but it isn't that bad there despite him being the kind of person who goes to bed pretty early. ]

Pretty sure I can't get hurt in bed. And uhhh pretty rich, I think. This is just one of the guest rooms and it came furnished, which is nice. All my stuff is supposed to arrive sometime next week or so?

[ Another photo, this time of a scarred hand reaching out across the expanse of the bed. ]

It's way too big for just me so you have to come to visit. It's going to be really weird sleeping alone.

From:

dynamight

[STOP SENDING HIM PHOTOJSIDFJDISJ. Bakugou is going to die. Bakugou is going to be on the next available plane to New York City, fuck everything else. He can't believe he's being teased with some luxurious California king bed, unable to be there to ruin the sheets and then squeeze himself into Midoriya's arms after.

The worst.]

Shit.
Why are Americans so extra?

[Says an Extra kind of Japanese guy.]

Wtf
The tower looks crazy.
You said there was a fucking AI?
Did you even look into these guys before you joined?

From:

pacifisting

[ He's piling up the pillows onto the side Bakugou normally sleeps on and scooting up against them which feels really fucking pathetic but also, no one can see but him, so. ]

I know right And yeah, I did. The job is technically under Stark Industries?

[ HAHA DID HE. NOT MENTION THAT?? It's not like he you know...planned... this because there's a ton of crime here in New York and Mr. Stark, aka Ironman is at the center of a lot of that, not at all. ]

Fair warning if I stop responding it's because I fell asleep.

From:

pacifisting

Can I call you? Just til I fall asleep? If you're busy it's okay

From:

dynamight

[What a stupid piece of garbage. He loves him? This is awful.]

Call me.

From:

pacifisting

[ He is the actual worst.

Midoriya dials it instantly and as soon as the line picks up, he laughs quietly into the phone. There's the rustle of sheets as he tugs them up to his chin and a low, quiet sigh. ]

Hi, Kacchan.

From:

dynamight

[His breath is soft, but there, present. It's almost as if he's trying to soak up the sound of Midoriya's voice, one he has heard for so very long, yet not heard recently for maybe a day and some change.]

Nerd. You should go to fucking sleep.

From:

pacifisting

[ This is probably pathetic but it makes him feel better. Midoriya curls further into the covers, yawning. ]

Well, I'm trying to. That's why I'm talking to you. [ Pause. ] N-not that you're boring to talk to, okay, you know what I mean. I just want to fall asleep listening to you.

[ Better? Sort of? His nose wrinkles and he mashes his face into the marshmallow soft pillow. ]

How are you?

From:

dynamight

[Damn. Midoriya sounds drowsy and comfortable, and Bakugou wants to die. His voice is surprisingly low, like a whisper, like he thinks he'll be too loud for Midoriya to sleep, not realizing it's this way.]

M'fine. [As well as he could be considering.] I guess. [Could be better. With Midoriya.]

You had any of the crazy food yet? [A pause.] What do they fucking sound like? Can you understand them? [Listening to fluent English is wild as hell, he thinks.]

From:

pacifisting

[ He would listen to Bakugou read a phone book if he were given the chance. He'd probably get bored after three names and start yelling and ruin it, but hey. ]

Ms. Potts speaks really good Japanese, so I haven't done too much yet. There was a hot dog vendor outside, though, so I got one of those with onions and ketchup.

[ It was... actually pretty good for food he scarfed down just because it was better than airport food. ]

You know how late at night when we're walking back and you walk past the alley restaurants and you can smell the... mmm, the restaurants, I don't remember which one, but you smell them? It's like that, but all the time, and instead of soup or dumplings, it's....grease? And meat. And probably pee, honestly, it's so dirty.

From:

dynamight

What the fuck? That's disgusting?

[AMERICAN EXPLAIN. Midoriya can probably here the absolute wrinkle in Bakugou's face. Great. It's over. Midoriya is going to contract the black plague in America and be dead before Bakugou ever even knows it's happening.]

What the hell are the heroes doing? Don't they take care of their fucking city? [He doesn't understand. ShockedPikachu.jpg? How are there people who don't know how to keep their city functioning and clean?] I can't believe you ate a fucking hot dog from the street knowing it smells like grease and piss!

The fuck kinda name is "Potts"? Ask her what the fuck is wrong with New York--why's it so dirty!

[HE'S SO OFFENDED.]

From:

pacifisting

Kacchan's worse than my mother.

[ Midoriya's voice is teasing and sing-song, because it's absolutely true. He refuses to be his father: a year is plenty of time to leave the people you care about, do something useful, and come back. Especially when he has this to come back to. ]

I'm not going to contract anything out on the street, my immune system is too strong.

[ He's just listening to Bakugou's indignance with a sleepy smile and whatever he says next is only half-listened to because Midoriya is out like a light. ]

From:

dynamight

[??? Bakugou can't believe he's being compared to Midoriya's MOTHER. Worse than Midoriya's mother? Allow him to astral project into hell. Naturally, he puts up a fuss about this, each sentence laced with at least one vulgar word of some fashion before he realizes Midoriya is sounding more and more distant.

It's the only thing that quiets him down. He's met with mostly silence and the sound of deep, leveled breathing, something that could turn into a snore but won't. Very, very softly, he asks,] Deku...? [Just to be sure.

When he doesn't get an answer, he spends the next ten minutes just listening to Midoriya sleep, unsure if he should feel worse for it considering he can't see Midoriya's face, can't run his fingers along it, can't feel the rise and fall of Midoriya's chest.

A whole lot of nerve is required, a lot of second-guessing, but he does it. Soft, fast. A peak moment when Midoriya won't know and can't embarrass him for it later. He's not worried about a rejection. He's more worried about an acceptance.] Love you.

[And then he reluctantly hangs up.]