pacifisting | dynamight

From:

[ Sometimes, Midoriya wishes he had the guts to go with terms of endearment. With sweetheart or baby, or something murmured into Bakugou's hair. 'Kacchan' is its own term of endearment now, something private that's just for the two of them but maybe someday he'll have enough courage to try something else. ]

Alright. [ He won't beg, he won't nag, because he gets it. Midoriya wants to go and learn from as many people as he can, wants to fight and figure out how to be the best, wants wants wants. Bakugou's part of that want, but no matter how much Midoriya loves him (and he does, even if he can't quite say it yet) he wants to be as good as All Might even more. If it means going elsewhere...well. If Bakugou stays, Midoriya thinks maybe that makes the choice of leaving even easier. At least Japan will be safe if Bakugou's still here. ]

I don't mind if you find someone else, if I'm gone. I don't mind knowing, either. Honestly... I think I would want to know who, a little bit, but I... [ He can't gesture with his hands on Bakugou like this, but they tighten, curling into his shirt and he blessedly doesn't comment on how Bakugou's face is so warm he can feel it. His own cheeks are warm as he considers the idea of Bakugou telling him who he got off with when they're apart. He doesn't like it, but he also kind of does and it's....weird. Super weird. ] Is that weird?

From:

dynamight

[Carefully, Bakugou noses further into Midoriya's neck, sliding up flush chest to chest. He likes the hands in his hair, along his shoulders; they calm him as much as most things would be able to calm him.]

What the hell is that supposed to mean? [He wants to--fuck it, he lifts his head slowly away from Midoriya's neck and peers, brows together, into Midoriya's face. His own is still fairly red, a lingering embarrassment.] How fucking long are you going to be gone?!

[He's thinking a while, but has more faith in his fortitude than what he really has in the end.]

Like hell I'm gonna just--fucking--tell you who I'm sleeping with while you're off halfway across the damn world!

[The hilarious thing: he thinks he might want to know in Midoriya's case, too. It'd make him somewhat jealous, but he'd be too self-conscious and curious.]

From:

pacifisting

[ Oh, no. Midoriya ducks his face in equal embarrassment just as soon as Bakugou goes to look at him. He thought this would be easy, they have had sex like, a bunch of times, this shouldn't be weird but it is. ]

I just mean - if you needed to, or even wanted to, I get it. But if you did it'd probably be someone...we knew, and I. It's. [ Midoriya flounders for a few moments, not even sure how to articulate what he wants or what he means here without it sounding like some sort of backhanded compliment. He sucks in a deep breath, counts to ten, and then releases it, because he's learned that giving himself a moment keeps himself from saying something he doesn't mean. ]

I don't think...I'm going to want to date anyone else because I know I'm coming back here, eventually.

[ To you. Midoriya's patient, in this. He has to be to date Bakugou. ]

All I wanted to say is if I took a job elsewhere, and if it was for a while, and if you wanted to... see someone else, that's alright. You'll still be there and I'll always come back.

[ So much of what they are is tied up in their competition, their desire to be number one, their history together. Bakugou's always been there and he'll always be there and Midoriya's content with whatever shape that takes. He really, really hopes it takes the one where he keeps getting to make curry in Bakugou's kitchen because that's - Midoriya pauses. Pulls back abruptly and in a remarkably good All Might impression ] Shit.

[ He jerks the bubbling curry off and over to the other stove, yelping when it nearly sloshes over but doesn't, barely. ]

From:

dynamight

[Honestly, Bakugou had planned to do the one thing he probably always does when Midoriya starts stuttering, and tumbling over words, and talking endlessly: kiss him. His lids lower just a bit, brows pulled together in irritation.

He starts to go in, to part his lips, but Midoriya is startled by the remembrance of curry, and then he's startled by the fucking horrendously realistic All Might impression. Visibly shook really.

Straightening up, he loosens, takes half a step back to give Midoriya room.] Fucking watch it, nerd! [He's more worried about Midoriya--hilariously--than he's worried about the kitchen.

Reaching out, he clamps a solid hand around Midoriya's forearm to keep the other from fumbling around with a hot pan and hotter curry. He exhales long and low, turns off the stove.] Watch out, dammit.

You're gonna be back in the fucking hospital.

From:

pacifisting

[ Hey, he didn't make a mess, it's fine, everything is fine. He's not supposed to be letting Bakugou get worked up, either, which means him nearly burning down the kitchen isn't going to help. ]

I'm fine, it's okay.

[ Bakugou's hand keeps him steady and it settles on the cooler part of the stove; Midoriya tugs the lid off to a flood of steam and pulls back, laughing sheepishly. ]

I'm sorry. I was just trying to see if you wanted to come on the vacation with us. I'm supposed to be here helping you take it easy.

[ For a lot of things. Maybe he shouldn't have said that much. It's fine if Bakugou doesn't feel the same because they'd never put any sort of title on this and despite everything, there's still a tiny piece of him that wants to give Bakugou an out, just in case he realizes he's made a mistake. ]

From:

dynamight

[Patiently--as patiently as he can--he waits until the pan is settled, until Midoriya isn't clinging to it so tightly. He works Midoriya's hands away without hurting the bound one, takes Midoriya by the free arm and turns the other somewhat briskly around.

It feels like he's being teased, and it makes him antsy. Them having such a serious, heartfelt conversation only to be interrupted by food. Like he's being yanked around. He hates it. Don't just say those kinds of strong spirited things and change the subject.

He's trying to talk to Midoriya here. About his feelings, even if it's difficult for him to articulate what he wants.

So he just does what he had intended to do previous, what comes naturally to him. His calloused, wide hands grasp Midoriya along the jaw and neck on each side, and he pulls them together so he can kiss the shit out of Midoriya's mouth. Explore it. It's hungry, but it's slower, not quite so needy, not like he wants them to strip in the kitchen and go at it like animals.

It's a serious as their conversation, and it grounds him. Gives him a moment or two to sort his thoughts while he can focus on Midoriya's mouth. His voice is full of gravel when he pulls back.] Where?

If I'm going at all, it better not be fucking stupid.

From:

pacifisting

[ The curry's in no danger of burning over now and the rice is in a cooker, which means he has no out and can't hide. Not that he would, it's just, he kind of considers it a fleeting moment, maybe two. He means every word he said and doesn't want to take any of them back, but also, this isn't how he'd meant for any of this to go and already he's replaying it in his head and wanting to change things.

He's jarred out of any thoughts at all when Bakugou manhandles him around and then in and it's ridiculous how effective it is at shutting his brain down just like that. Midoriya melts against the counter and tugs him in, both hands curling into his hair just shy of pulling. ]

New York. Los Angeles. There were some agencies I looked into earlier.

[ Midoriya meets his eyes, steadier than he was before like the kiss was molten reassurance. ]

Maybe I've given it a lot of thought.

From:

dynamight

[A slow, faint frown slips surprisingly onto Bakugou's face. There's a maybe, but the fact Midoriya has been thinking about it, that agencies have been looked into, halfway sets it all into stone. It isn't even soon. This isn't something that's gonna necessarily happen right now, and they aren't even apart, but a shard of something in him aches terribly.

The fingers around Midoriya's head unhook and the hands lower. He slams his forehead gently against the other's, glaring nose-to-nose, and then the head slips off to the side to rest on Midoriya's shoulders and in the crook of Midoriya's neck again.]

Do what you want, as long as you aren't doing anything fucking stupid. I don't know who the hell you think is gonna be able to save your dumbass in America, but I'll kill you if you try some dangerous bullshit.

You still owe me a fucking rematch to prove you've even gotten better at all.

From:

pacifisting

You still owe me my quirk back so we can have that rematch, Kacchan.

[ It...doesn't feel good. This doesn't feel good by any means, but it feels better than it could have all things considered. Midoriya takes the headbutt and meets his eyes as steadily as he can only for Bakugou's head to fall against his shoulder. Shamelessly, both arms wrap back around him again and he stands in the kitchen with Bakugou muttering half-assed threats at him. ]

I promise it'll be fine. If anything, America has less to worry about in some ways. No one knows me there.

[ It's both better and worse than here where heroes and villains are at least tangentially familiar with them through UA or prior work. ]

This wouldn't be for a while anyway. You're stuck with me for a few months longer, Kacchan.

Edited Date: 2018-11-26 04:00 pm (UTC)

From:

dynamight

You think no one knows you. That isn't always the fucking case. And what if something happens while you're there, fuckstick? Who's gonna be able to come save your ass? [Don't talk to him about American heroes.

Don't talk to him.] I don't think you should be fucking around over there by yourself--not without one of us at least. [Without him, specifically, but he can't just come out and say he's willing to throw everything in the gutter to go and rally at Midoriya's side.

This guy is supposed to be his rival, dammit. They're supposed to be gunning for Number One. Here they are, making out and holding hands.] So...

Maybe you should think about is longer than just a few fucking months.

From:

pacifisting

[ He's decidedly not mentioning any american hero names because that's just rubbing salt in the wound and Midoriya knows better. Leaning into the solid bulk of Bakugou, Midoriya presses a lingering kiss first to his forehead, then his cheek if he can reach it, hugging him just shy of tightly. ]

People do long distance side-kick jobs all the time, Kacchan. [ Come with me, he doesn't say, because he's already gone there once and he doesn't want to force Bakugou to come because he asked and Bakugou just said yes because of that. ]

I want to try and get as much experience as I can by twenty-five. [ It's not super far from now but it's also not exactly a short period of time when it comes to training. Gently, he extricates himself from Bakugou, the rice done and ushers him to the kitchen table with a series of lingering, gentle kisses for each step toward it they take. ] It'd only be for a year or so. You could come for the holidays.

From:

dynamight

[The kisses only mildly keep him going; he's still as gloomy as he had been, like there's a sour, grey cloud hanging over his head which won't leave. Reluctantly, he follows Midoriya to the table.

He's greedy, accepting each kiss, though he doesn't allow them to change his countenance. At least he isn't raging. A small blessing.] A fucking year. [He's going to 100% die. He'll be dead. A whole year.

Dropping into the chair is heavier than he probably meant it to be, and the wood creaks beneath his weight. Instead of worrying about the curry he so craved before--despite still being hungry--he bends over and lets his forehead slams softly on the top of the table, face down.

Is he pouting? Maybe a lil.]

From:

pacifisting

[ He won't push the idea that Bakugou could just...you know, come with him. He wants to. He desperately wants to but he holds back. Instead, he waits until the pathetic heap of injured semi-pro hero is settled at the table, kisses the nape of his neck and then heads to dish up curry for both of them. ]

Kacchan, you're being maybe a little dramatic.

[ Except, his chest aches at the idea of being gone a whole year from his friends, too. Nothing will prevent him from talking to them, sure, but it's one thing to talk to them and another to know he's going to miss all of their lunches and dinners, all the karaoke, all the ridiculous things. He'll come back sure but it isn't the same as being here.

What if Bakugou moves on from him while he's gone? It doesn't...seem likely, exactly, but there's still a chance. If it happens, Midoriya knows they'll still be friends, still be rivals, but the idea of losing this isn't one he likes either. ] Head up, there's curry.

[ A bowl is plunked down next to him and Midoriya's fingers graze the nape of his neck on his way past, settling in the chair next to him with his own bowl. ]

From:

dynamight

[All Midoriya gets while preparing the curry is a raised middle finger, brief, and half-assed. He's being maybe a little dramatic. He doesn't care. The fact Midoriya is almost certainly going to go overseas is somewhat devastating.

He has too much to try to recalibrate now, and he'll have just as much once Midoriya is gone.]

Mn.

[He doesn't even budge, and Midoriya is forced to set the plate catty-corner by his head. He even turns it away, lying on his cheek for a few moments, pouting like a child and then, finally, he's finished. His head lifts again, cheek gently red from being smooshed, almost like he had been smacked several times. His eyes settle on the curry.

Carefully, he brings the plate in front of him, but doesn't eat yet.]

Who else knows? That you're looking at other damn agencies across the planet.

From:

pacifisting

[ Pity won't get them anywhere so he doesn't give it. He's going to see if Bakugou will have him spend the night, because if so, that's when he's going to bully him into snuggling and spooning and talking about all of this in lower, quieter tones where it'll be intimacy and not pity.

It's not bad curry. Not the best, but it's decent, serviceable, and Midoriya eats almost mechanically as he watches Bakugou finally lift his head up and consider eating. ]

Kirishima. Uraraka and Todoroki know that I've considered it, and some locations but not any more than that.

[ Kirishima had been looking at it the most earnestly and that was why Midoriya had told him. The others had bullied (Uraraka) or coaxed (Todoroki) it out of him when he was agonizing over different options. ]

From:

dynamight

Goddammit...

[Kirishima, too. He's aware the guy had been scoping things out, had been considering it, but he hadn't thought one of his best buddies would be so willing to abandon him, too.

Everyone is leaving him to get stronger, and he's suffering. He wants to get stronger as well, more than anything. His goal is still the #1 spot, and yet... he hadn't intended to become so attached to his peers, the heroes he works with here in Japan.

The curry gets his full glare, but he at least lifts the spoon so he can eat. Slow. Thoughtfully in a broody way.]

If all of you fucks run off for a year, who the shit is gonna be here to keep this place safe, huh? [It's a weird way to compliment them, and maybe a shitty way to put the higher heroes down--but, dammit, he doesn't want to get left behind.] You know the one who could have done anything isn't here anymore. [He doesn't look up. Midoriya knows who he's talking about.]

From:

pacifisting

[ Midoriya stirs rice and curry together while Bakugou talks, knowing that it can't be easy for him to handle all of this. Midoriya was a little upset at the idea of Kirishima going away too, but so many heroes did end up doing it eventually that it made sense. Sure, they didn't usually travel that far but that was beside the point. ]

Kacchan... I would stay if you asked me to, the same way I think you'd come if I asked you to.

[ Properly asked. The kind where he says the words Katsuki, I'm going to miss you too much, come with me so I'm not lonely. The words he'd never say, the same way Bakugou would never come outright and say the other half.

He stretches a leg under the table and shoves a sock-clad foot between Bakugou's own, idly affectionate where he can be while his hands are occupied. ] What do you want to do?

From:

dynamight

I'm not gonna fucking beg you to stay, jackass.

[He really won't. If it's something Midoriya wants, he'll let it happen. In the end, he knows it's something Midoriya needs. It's something they all can use, traveling. Learning. Growing stronger. He wants...

He wants Midoriya to be stronger. This is the whole point. Midoriya has One For All, and Bakugou knows Midoriya needs to be as strong as possible to use it efficiently, to protect it. To protect others.

Never would he take the opportunity away from Midoriya; he's got to keep the other in check since the one person who always did...

The free hand not holding the spoon fists. He eats only a little more before he ends up just shifting the curry around the plate, mixing it.] If you're going, go. Stop asking me what I want. It's not fucking about what I want. [He doesn't shove the foot between his own away.]

But you better not waste it.

From:

pacifisting

I know.

[ Midoriya shrugs one shoulder and gives him a lopsided little smile. ]

But I wanted you to know that I would, if you asked me to.

[ So he's...going, then. Maybe not in the next month or two, but he's pretty sure he can find a job overseas pretty easily, pretty sure he can figure out an apartment, pretty sure that the time is going to go so fast it'll feel like no time at all and then he'll be alone in a new country. They still have to test out All Might's power, still have to figure out how it interacts with Bakugou's, still have to do so much and he knows he's got time but abruptly it feels like he has so little. ]

Okay. Then I'm going and when I come back... you better be ready for me. Alright?

From:

dynamight

[This gets Bakugou to finally glance up. The challenge is more to him than simply a challenge. It's a promise. It's a "I'll come back," spoke in a language he understands. He can do this sort of talk.

Firmly, he nods, once. Midoriya's reassurance is accepted.] I'll crush you when you get back. Whatever you learn won't be enough. [It's his own promise. When Midoriya is ready to return, he'll be here, waiting.

Regardless of how long it takes.] Your curry tastes like shit. [Says the guy deciding to eat the rest of it.

Now that he isn't having a tantrum.]

From:

pacifisting

[ Better. This is so much better. This is what he knows how to deal with, this is something easier than trying to navigate the complicated mess of their feelings when Bakugou is upset and Midoriya is defensive. ]

You helped, so.

[ This is your shitty curry too. Midoriya finishes off the rest of his and then shamelessly reaches over and rests his fingertips on top of Bakugou's own, tracing the delicate line of his wrist. He still loves Bakugou's hands a ridiculous amount, but he likes this, too. Likes tracing his eyes up the line of his fingers, over his wrists, up to the swell of his arms and shoulders. ]

When you're done eating you should go pick something good to watch and I'll clean up.

From:

dynamight

Fuck that.

[He doesn’t mind the brush over his hands. The light, quiet attentions are the best ones. Midoriya’s calloused fingers etching out his cut, wide hands and long fingers, so use to sweating and blowing things up despite how much he wants to help. To be a hero. His thick, veined arms, and his toned shoulders. Trying to carry his ambitions even when he thinks he’s one of the weakest few of the group of their peers.

The one always getting taken, stopped. The one who caused All Might’s end, and, worse, no matter how many times Midoriya tries to correct him... the one sho kept All Might from living as long as All Might should.]

Get out of my face. [He doesn’t give Midoriya a chance. He takes up both plates as he slides out of the seat.] Prove you can pick something that isn’t shitty, damn nerd. [A glance over his shoulder, challenging.

If Midoriya made the food, he can clean up. What kind of man is he if he can’t do that? Stupid hair would definitely tell him something like that.]

From:

pacifisting

[ He likes Bakugou's hands, sure, but it's his arms and shoulders that are distracting as all hell but at least here in private he is able to stare with minimal issue. Midoriya lingers a few moments more and then Bakugou's pulling away, taking the plates. He wants to object; he's supposed to be making Bakugou take bedrest but they're both utter garbage at it and to a point enforcing it would just mean that he's making things worse when they inevitably fight over it.

So, he sighs and heads to the couch, resigned. It takes a few moments to get the TV on and the different things up to surf through but by the time Bakugou's done (with Midoriya watching his back, listening intently for any signs or sounds of pain) he's found something on Bakugou's watchlist that seems alright.

The blanket from earlier is stretched out over his legs but when Bakugou comes out, Midoriya flops onto his back, stretched out, giving Bakugou the option to move his legs to sit like a normal person, or to stretch out next to him. Two fully grown men on the couch is a bit of a struggle but it's worth it. ]

If you hate this, you gotta know this was on your queue.

From:

dynamight

[In the kitchen, he rinses the plates and spoons and then puts them in the dishwasher. They demolished the curry, leaving him nothing to do but rinse out the pan too and add it in. The rice cooker is a bit different. He has to quickly, gently wash it himself and clean the rim of the starch and condensation.

Thankfully, it isn’t extensive work and doesn’t take long. He’s shuffling out to the couch in no time, choosing neither option. Midoriya may scold him, but he doesn’t care. Obviously. Yanking the cover up, he kneels up between Midoriya’s knees and settles stomach-down, carefully, gently, on top of Midoriya’s frontside. The wound doesn’t quite hurt so much as the stitches itch from time to time.

He lets Midoriya fix the blanket over them at least, gives an upright glance at the television.] Ain’t anything wrong with Kamen Rider. I was trying to catch up. [Finally, he drops his head down on the swell of Midoriya’s chest, half tucked under the chin and against the neck. Enough to faintly pay attention though getting ready maybe to nap later once he gives up on trying to stay awake. Midoriya is too warm and comfortable.

His Achilles’ heel. One of them.]

From:

pacifisting

[ Midoriya throws the blanket back and lifts an arm, knees spreading to accommodate the other man as he settles in on top of him. As soo as he's settled, the blanket comes back over both of them and Midoriya sneaks a cool hand up to Bakugou's back under his shirt, rucking it up so he can start tracing the line of his spine back and forth not unlike petting a cat. ]

Mmm, good.

[ He's absolutely going to fall asleep like this, but that was the whole point of the two of them going home together; they're supposed to get rest and not exert themselves. The position leaves his other hand free, though, which means he's winding it into Bakugou's hair, scratching blunt nails through it in long, slow passes, pressing kisses to his hair every so often while the show plays in the background.

Some part of him can't believe he's willingly giving this up for any amount of time but the rest of him knows that now that it's alright (for a given meaning of the word) he can't, won't change his mind. Bakugou's a heavy weight over him but it's comforable and all too soon he loses track of the show and lets himself doze, his fingers slowing and then stilling, breathing going soft and even. ]