[Oh no. The reply is like a hot slap in the face; it startles him and also quickly, jerkingly humbles him. It's a reply he half expected (because it's Midoriya), but a reply he didn't want to hear because the words make his ears sting fiercely.
Naturally, he turns his head just a bit to the side and looks away, after first visibly, for a second, appearing shocked. His brows then, of course, sourly bunch in the middle of his forehead, and his eyes narrow, his lips thin out.
The admiration is beginning to wear on him. It's not like the admiration received in middle school, in elementary school. This admiration is undeserved, and it forces him to think about the many reasons why. The stack upon stack, the pile upon pile of examples of why and how he's been garbage to the fucker who continues to idolize him almost as much as All Might.]
You're so fucking stupid... [For thinking the world of him, for giving him goddamn One For All to save his sorry life. He may be confident in his abilities, but he has a whole lot of self-loathing packed away under the determination.] I wasn't... [A pause. His voice lowers more; he won't look at Midoriya still.] I wasn't fucking worth it... Not for that... Not for... it.
It's not mine. [He finally looks.] And I don't want it, your stupid ass quirk. [The "stupid ass" part sounds like a lie.] I ain't got time to let you crawl your ass to Number One just because I died. I wouldn't have given up so easily, jackass. So you should have kept it. I don't need it just because some pole got shoved through me.
I should've punched your damn lights out with it after you pulled that shit.
Edited (dammit html) Date: 2018-11-23 05:44 am (UTC)
You were. You are. I'll tell you that as many times as it takes.
[ Midoriya's tone is even and calm, refuting Bakugou's words without hesitation or stuttering.
It's weird how now, these days, he's like a Bakugou's bullshit translator.
You're so fucking stupid isn't actually an insult anymore. Once, it might have been. Once, Midoriya might have believed it, at least a little bit. In all the years he's gotten to know Bakugou - to properly know him, it's something else entirely, though. He's not saying Midoriya's actually stupid, he's saying he doesn't think he deserves it. The quirk isn't stupid, either; Midoriya knows how much it, and its former owner mean to them. It's a whole lot of prickly packaging that he has to unwrap to get to what he's really saying. ]
I already agreed I'm taking it back. [ His hand squeezes Bakugou's knee gently, thumb rubbing lazy circles against his kneecap as he meets Bakugou's eyes, earnest and certain all in one. ] Maybe you didn't need it, and maybe it didn't...do anything, really, but I wasn't willing to take that chance. You got injured because of me, Kacchan. Don't think I didn't see you take what you did, when everything was happening. You were the one who got us out of there, too. Not me. Not it. You.
[He won't ever be able to escape the unrelenting optimism and determination of Izuku Midoriya. He knows this. He knows this because it's exactly what gave him so much trouble when he felt he caused All Might's retirement.
There's been an annoying as piss, green-haired moron running behind him since they were kids, clinging desperately to his legs. And maybe--
Maybe instead of dragging Midoriya through the mud, he's realized, slowly, he should... actually stop and offer a hand. Except... he doesn't have to offer a hand now, and he didn't when they were in U.A. Midoriya stood up beside him, joined him, and now all he has to do is link arms. If he'd stop being so stubborn.] Tch.
You would've been the one in a fucking grave if I hadn't. [But Midoriya had come up with the plan? Midoriya had told him what to do, and he just did it.] Anyway... [For a moment, he leaves it hanging. His fingers brush over Midoriya's on, like a ghost, and then they smooth harder, thread their fingers together.]
[ It's a low, pleased hum in response to the cursing, like he's not even concerned with the cursing directed at him. They're two halves of the same coin in some ways and Bakugou balances him out in the same way that Midoriya likes to think he tempers Bakugou at least a little bit.
Proof that they've both grown; Bakugou doesn't shove his hand away or hiss and spit like an angry cat because Midoriya knows how to push without going too far and Bakugou's tolerance has increased as time went on. ]
Probably, yeah. [ It's a little unsettling to think about but they've also brushed with death countless times. Bakugou's hand settles over his and for a moment he thinks that brush is all he's going to get, but then their fingers are tangling together and Midoriya's beaming up at him, squeezing his hand in turn. ]
[The "tch" is a little quieter this time. He keeps his red eyes down and his fingers hooked lightly along Midoriya's own. A squeeze, and then he's very much like a cat and very Done. For now. The silence, the fact they're able to look at each other, makes it harder.
He pulls his hand away, but reluctantly. It's fine. This makes up for it:] If you're not getting up here with me, [The worst invitation in the history of the world. He is the literal worst.] then go back to your own damn bed.
Especially if you're too worried about getting caught by the nurse.
[He probably shouldn't challenge Midoriya so much over things so petty, knowing the other will more than likely accept them. This is why they always get into so much trouble.]
[ It's enough, just that little moment of contact before Bakugou pulls away. Midoriya would have been thrilled with that, except moments later comes the shittiest invitation and he's swept with a wave of fondness so huge it aches. Fuel on the fire is Bakugou making any kind of challenge out of it. They haven't been separated yet, so Midoriya rises up out of the chair and gingerly lifts himself up after lowering the bar in the way.
He's careful to put his cast to the outside, otherwise the cot would be too small for both of them, but he dares to settle himself on his side, pillowing his head onto Bakugou's shoulder to make sure that he doesn't have to move or shift over very much. Can't risk tearing those stitches. ]
Do you tip nurses? I kind of think we should get her a melon for having to deal with us.
[ Eighteen distressed heroes and parents in the waiting room at various points, and then the two of them? He ought to get the nurses a fucking apology cake at this point. His cast settles itself gently across Bakugou's thigh for lack of anywhere else, not wanting to risk his torso.]
[The only, sole reason he decides not to fuss or be argumentative is because Midoriya did what he wanted and is now up with him in the bed. He does shift over a bit to make room, getting the potato sticks and book out of the way; up here, this close, Midoriya can see it’s, The Tale of Genji.
Even with a scoff, as soon as Midoriya is settled, Bakugou turns his head over and buries his cheek and mouth into the fluffy, green hair, against the temple. Smells like Midoriya for sure. It’s been a short while since they’ve had the opportunity to be this close, uninterrupted. Close enough his breath is warm on what little bit of skin and scalp it brushes over when he sighs quietly.] Whatever, if you wanna. You don’t tip them money though, idiot. They probably couldn’t even take it anyway. [So they’re relegated to giving the girls something to split. Maybe a melon, yeah.]
Who the fuck wants a melon, though? Get them some chocolate or a cake.
I know, I know. I was mostly joking, but... well, we really should get them something. Our class is a lot. Our moms are a lot.
[ With his arm wrapped in a cast like this there's not much that he can do in terms of touching Bakugou and it's driving him insane approximately two seconds into lounging like this. There's no way to do it without risking hurting him so instead, he very gently tilts his arm and rests the fingertips not hidden against the top of Bakugou's thigh.
It's not perfect but it's something. His leg slides across a moment later, shamelessly tangling itself with both of Bakugou's, and when he feels that sigh he snuggles, mouthing a kiss against a shoulder. ]
Cake or chocolate is good. [ The exhaustion tugs heavily at him again, threatening to slide him under now that he's stopped moving and he's warm, content. ] Hey, Kacchan, you should read to me.
[A soft, low “hooh” kind of inquiry comes out of him, and he turns his head just barely enough to glance at the book on the other side. Dammit, he’s comfy, and now he’s got to read to some nerd? Geez.]
Don’t act like you don’t already know the damn story. [It’s murmured into the fluffy hair with a whole lack of combustion he’s usually dishing out. He thinks he could be harder if Midoriya wasn’t so fucking warm leaned against him, fitting into his open places like a puzzle piece.] Fine, I guess. If it means you’re shut up for a while. [Even if, really, he doesn’t mind Midoriya talking when it means he doesn’t have to do it himself.
Reaching back over his thigh, he grapples the book and hefts it back over between them. He does have to move, stretch his arm around Midoriya’s neck and shoulders so he can hold the book open with two hands. He doesn’t start from the beginning, but simply from where he left off. With just two hands, the red good luck pouch from one of their peers he was using as a bookmark flops against Midoriya’s chest, and he leaves it there for now.
For once, he has a string of conversation without any cursing and with a strange, husky recitation. He sounds as smart as most can tell he is, as he had been in school based on his scores, not like an uneducated ruffian. A hidden, secretive smart boy, a nerd not unlike Midoriya in a different way. The one that very rarely emerges in tactics or logic. He doesn’t falter over words or stutter.
It’s surreal to hear Genji’s kidnapping of Murasaki and his tutelage of her out of Bakugou’s mouth.]
[ It sounds like a joke, but it isn't. He does like hearing Bakugou talk when he's not yelling, or cursing, or generally being a dick just to be one. This is nice. This is just Bakugou's low, warm rumble underneath his ear, the line of his body pressed close. He doesn't stumble over words like Midoriya knows he would. This is the Bakugou that he knew from a child: painfully smart, articulate, the kind of person Midoriya ached to be. Bakugou's confident as he reads, shaping the words easily, working through it and before Midoriya really realizes what's happening, his eyes are sliding shut.
He's not going to fall asleep. There's still the nurses to contend with and technically they're not supposed to be in the same bed together, that's why he had the chair. He's not going to fall asleep because Bakugou's bored and he needs someone to keep him entertained, and it's not fair to leave him alone like this.
He absolutely falls asleep, slumping into Bakugou's side, mouth pressed so he's exhaling warmth against the curve of his collarbone, nosing into his throat sleepily as he dozes. ]
[Honestly, Bakugou doesn’t mind Midoriya falling asleep. He won’t mind if the nurses find them, even if the nurses find his stack of potato sticks either. Mainly because, he too will be asleep when all of this happens.
He keeps reading for the hell of it, voice almost a whisper. Midoriya’s labored breath on his neck is the lull. The book and arms begin lowering, and his own head, leaned on Midoriya’s, gets heavy. His eyes shut, open, shut again; there’s no way he can keep them open like this. He doesn’t get as good a sleep in the hospital as he does when Midoriya is squeezing into the stupid bed with him, when they’re entwined at the legs and arms together. It’s good.
He’d die before he ever admitted any of this to anyone.
But it’s good. Midoriya wrapped up in him and asleep, nothing for him to get riled up about. Snacks. Midoriya’s hair smells fresh and faintly washed, the wavy curls soft. A pillow he won’t ever say he enjoys. Like the bookish reading, Bakugou’s sleeping face is a dream. He’s so much gentler, a real handsome and sweet boy when his eyes aren’t narrow and his brows together.
And maybe Midoriya gets an e-mailed picture way later of the two of them from the same nurse as the first time.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2018-11-23 05:44 am (UTC)Naturally, he turns his head just a bit to the side and looks away, after first visibly, for a second, appearing shocked. His brows then, of course, sourly bunch in the middle of his forehead, and his eyes narrow, his lips thin out.
The admiration is beginning to wear on him. It's not like the admiration received in middle school, in elementary school. This admiration is undeserved, and it forces him to think about the many reasons why. The stack upon stack, the pile upon pile of examples of why and how he's been garbage to the fucker who continues to idolize him almost as much as All Might.]
You're so fucking stupid... [For thinking the world of him, for giving him goddamn One For All to save his sorry life. He may be confident in his abilities, but he has a whole lot of self-loathing packed away under the determination.] I wasn't... [A pause. His voice lowers more; he won't look at Midoriya still.] I wasn't fucking worth it... Not for that... Not for... it.
It's not mine. [He finally looks.] And I don't want it, your stupid ass quirk. [The "stupid ass" part sounds like a lie.] I ain't got time to let you crawl your ass to Number One just because I died. I wouldn't have given up so easily, jackass. So you should have kept it. I don't need it just because some pole got shoved through me.
I should've punched your damn lights out with it after you pulled that shit.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-23 05:51 am (UTC)[ Midoriya's tone is even and calm, refuting Bakugou's words without hesitation or stuttering.
It's weird how now, these days, he's like a Bakugou's bullshit translator.
You're so fucking stupid isn't actually an insult anymore. Once, it might have been. Once, Midoriya might have believed it, at least a little bit. In all the years he's gotten to know Bakugou - to properly know him, it's something else entirely, though. He's not saying Midoriya's actually stupid, he's saying he doesn't think he deserves it. The quirk isn't stupid, either; Midoriya knows how much it, and its former owner mean to them. It's a whole lot of prickly packaging that he has to unwrap to get to what he's really saying. ]
I already agreed I'm taking it back. [ His hand squeezes Bakugou's knee gently, thumb rubbing lazy circles against his kneecap as he meets Bakugou's eyes, earnest and certain all in one. ] Maybe you didn't need it, and maybe it didn't...do anything, really, but I wasn't willing to take that chance. You got injured because of me, Kacchan. Don't think I didn't see you take what you did, when everything was happening. You were the one who got us out of there, too. Not me. Not it. You.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-23 06:09 am (UTC)[He won't ever be able to escape the unrelenting optimism and determination of Izuku Midoriya. He knows this. He knows this because it's exactly what gave him so much trouble when he felt he caused All Might's retirement.
There's been an annoying as piss, green-haired moron running behind him since they were kids, clinging desperately to his legs. And maybe--
Maybe instead of dragging Midoriya through the mud, he's realized, slowly, he should... actually stop and offer a hand. Except... he doesn't have to offer a hand now, and he didn't when they were in U.A. Midoriya stood up beside him, joined him, and now all he has to do is link arms. If he'd stop being so stubborn.] Tch.
You would've been the one in a fucking grave if I hadn't. [But Midoriya had come up with the plan? Midoriya had told him what to do, and he just did it.] Anyway... [For a moment, he leaves it hanging. His fingers brush over Midoriya's on, like a ghost, and then they smooth harder, thread their fingers together.]
...Thanks, I guess.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-23 06:15 am (UTC)[ It's a low, pleased hum in response to the cursing, like he's not even concerned with the cursing directed at him. They're two halves of the same coin in some ways and Bakugou balances him out in the same way that Midoriya likes to think he tempers Bakugou at least a little bit.
Proof that they've both grown; Bakugou doesn't shove his hand away or hiss and spit like an angry cat because Midoriya knows how to push without going too far and Bakugou's tolerance has increased as time went on. ]
Probably, yeah. [ It's a little unsettling to think about but they've also brushed with death countless times. Bakugou's hand settles over his and for a moment he thinks that brush is all he's going to get, but then their fingers are tangling together and Midoriya's beaming up at him, squeezing his hand in turn. ]
Thanks for saving me, hero.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-23 06:49 am (UTC)He pulls his hand away, but reluctantly. It's fine. This makes up for it:] If you're not getting up here with me, [The worst invitation in the history of the world. He is the literal worst.] then go back to your own damn bed.
Especially if you're too worried about getting caught by the nurse.
[He probably shouldn't challenge Midoriya so much over things so petty, knowing the other will more than likely accept them. This is why they always get into so much trouble.]
no subject
Date: 2018-11-23 06:55 am (UTC)He's careful to put his cast to the outside, otherwise the cot would be too small for both of them, but he dares to settle himself on his side, pillowing his head onto Bakugou's shoulder to make sure that he doesn't have to move or shift over very much. Can't risk tearing those stitches. ]
Do you tip nurses? I kind of think we should get her a melon for having to deal with us.
[ Eighteen distressed heroes and parents in the waiting room at various points, and then the two of them? He ought to get the nurses a fucking apology cake at this point. His cast settles itself gently across Bakugou's thigh for lack of anywhere else, not wanting to risk his torso.]
We should get them something.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-23 01:45 pm (UTC)Even with a scoff, as soon as Midoriya is settled, Bakugou turns his head over and buries his cheek and mouth into the fluffy, green hair, against the temple. Smells like Midoriya for sure. It’s been a short while since they’ve had the opportunity to be this close, uninterrupted. Close enough his breath is warm on what little bit of skin and scalp it brushes over when he sighs quietly.] Whatever, if you wanna. You don’t tip them money though, idiot. They probably couldn’t even take it anyway. [So they’re relegated to giving the girls something to split. Maybe a melon, yeah.]
Who the fuck wants a melon, though? Get them some chocolate or a cake.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-23 05:44 pm (UTC)[ With his arm wrapped in a cast like this there's not much that he can do in terms of touching Bakugou and it's driving him insane approximately two seconds into lounging like this. There's no way to do it without risking hurting him so instead, he very gently tilts his arm and rests the fingertips not hidden against the top of Bakugou's thigh.
It's not perfect but it's something. His leg slides across a moment later, shamelessly tangling itself with both of Bakugou's, and when he feels that sigh he snuggles, mouthing a kiss against a shoulder. ]
Cake or chocolate is good. [ The exhaustion tugs heavily at him again, threatening to slide him under now that he's stopped moving and he's warm, content. ] Hey, Kacchan, you should read to me.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-23 06:17 pm (UTC)Don’t act like you don’t already know the damn story. [It’s murmured into the fluffy hair with a whole lack of combustion he’s usually dishing out. He thinks he could be harder if Midoriya wasn’t so fucking warm leaned against him, fitting into his open places like a puzzle piece.] Fine, I guess. If it means you’re shut up for a while. [Even if, really, he doesn’t mind Midoriya talking when it means he doesn’t have to do it himself.
Reaching back over his thigh, he grapples the book and hefts it back over between them. He does have to move, stretch his arm around Midoriya’s neck and shoulders so he can hold the book open with two hands. He doesn’t start from the beginning, but simply from where he left off. With just two hands, the red good luck pouch from one of their peers he was using as a bookmark flops against Midoriya’s chest, and he leaves it there for now.
For once, he has a string of conversation without any cursing and with a strange, husky recitation. He sounds as smart as most can tell he is, as he had been in school based on his scores, not like an uneducated ruffian. A hidden, secretive smart boy, a nerd not unlike Midoriya in a different way. The one that very rarely emerges in tactics or logic. He doesn’t falter over words or stutter.
It’s surreal to hear Genji’s kidnapping of Murasaki and his tutelage of her out of Bakugou’s mouth.]
no subject
Date: 2018-11-23 06:32 pm (UTC)[ It sounds like a joke, but it isn't. He does like hearing Bakugou talk when he's not yelling, or cursing, or generally being a dick just to be one. This is nice. This is just Bakugou's low, warm rumble underneath his ear, the line of his body pressed close. He doesn't stumble over words like Midoriya knows he would. This is the Bakugou that he knew from a child: painfully smart, articulate, the kind of person Midoriya ached to be. Bakugou's confident as he reads, shaping the words easily, working through it and before Midoriya really realizes what's happening, his eyes are sliding shut.
He's not going to fall asleep. There's still the nurses to contend with and technically they're not supposed to be in the same bed together, that's why he had the chair. He's not going to fall asleep because Bakugou's bored and he needs someone to keep him entertained, and it's not fair to leave him alone like this.
He absolutely falls asleep, slumping into Bakugou's side, mouth pressed so he's exhaling warmth against the curve of his collarbone, nosing into his throat sleepily as he dozes. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-11-23 07:55 pm (UTC)He keeps reading for the hell of it, voice almost a whisper. Midoriya’s labored breath on his neck is the lull. The book and arms begin lowering, and his own head, leaned on Midoriya’s, gets heavy. His eyes shut, open, shut again; there’s no way he can keep them open like this. He doesn’t get as good a sleep in the hospital as he does when Midoriya is squeezing into the stupid bed with him, when they’re entwined at the legs and arms together. It’s good.
He’d die before he ever admitted any of this to anyone.
But it’s good. Midoriya wrapped up in him and asleep, nothing for him to get riled up about. Snacks. Midoriya’s hair smells fresh and faintly washed, the wavy curls soft. A pillow he won’t ever say he enjoys. Like the bookish reading, Bakugou’s sleeping face is a dream. He’s so much gentler, a real handsome and sweet boy when his eyes aren’t narrow and his brows together.
And maybe Midoriya gets an e-mailed picture way later of the two of them from the same nurse as the first time.]