[The shoulder of the ear hikes up gently when Midoriya starts rubbing it. He can tell it's red as shit just by how chilly Midoriya's fingers feel, and the rubbing isn't helping when it sends a soft roll of a shiver down his spine--when it tightens his stomach, it makes him wince very faintly under the fingers on his brow.]
What the hell? I SAID, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE... hell... you're...
[A soft exhale leaves him, and then he swallows. The look on Midoriya's face draws all of the ire right out of him for some reason, a far cry from when the mere glance of Midoriya's freckled and round-eyed head would fuel his rage and envy.]
Cut it the fuck out. I said I... [Midoriya isn't gonna listen to him period. This is a useless battle.] So what if I fucking did, huh? Don't give me that shit...
You were-- [The rolling concerns get wedged in the bottle neck of his filtered throat.] If you would have seen your dumbass face in that hole! You were fucking dead! I called you a hundred times, and you wouldn't open your goddamn eyes! What was I supposed to fucing do!
[ Yeah, okay, probably best not to accidentally rile him up when they're both injured and nothing can happen. Midoriya's hand migrates back to the nape of his neck, squeezing gently, going back to running through his hair in lazy, aimless strokes. ]
You are so loud.
[ He sounds achingly affectionate, though, not angry or condescending. If anything, he's so pleased that he doesn't know what to do with himself, warm down to his bones at such a little thing that means so much to him. Of course, nothing can be easy, because Bakugou continues and his smile fades a little at the edge. ]
I won't let that happen again. [ There's no way to know of course, but he's going to do this best to make sure that nothing like this ever happens again, that he's strong enough to withstand something like that. They had assumed the League wouldn't attack when it was so many of them together but that quirk. The smoke had knocked everyone out, but he doesn't know for how long. He doesn't have his notebook with him, either, but hopefully when everyone comes to visit they'll bring it. ] You were still amazing, Kacchan. You know that right?
[Quickly, he opens his mouth. HE'S NOT FUCKING LOUD, he screams, his voice echoing down the hall. Yeah. Nothing comes out because he knows it'll sound and go just like that.]
Don't promise me bullshit, Deku. [At least he doesn't sound completely offended, more... he understands who Izuku Midoriya really is, understands what kind of fate awaits. He thought that already, back when they were young, didn't he? When he yelled at Midoriya for the same thing.
That the future would scare him to death, snatch Midoriya right out of his hands like the other was made of paper.] I'm not a damn moron.
Just... shut up. [His voice loses the peak, and his head loses the strength. It lowers down until he can tuck it against Midoriya's shoulder from across the chest. He doesn't want to look Midoriya in the eyes and listen to uncertain reassurances.] We wouldn't... have been in that shit to start if I was amazing.
[ He's not smug but it's damn close, barely holding back a smile that threatens to be a smirk. It fades almost instantly, because the subject matter is hard and Midoriya knows that heroing isn't exactly the safest job. Heroes do die, and there's nothing you can do about it sometimes. It's just something that they have to accept, but necessity doesn't mean it's easy. ]
I can promise you I'll do my best.
[ His head lowers back down and Midoriya goes back to carding his fingers through his hair, not unlike petting a large, unruly cat that isn't ever fully certain if it likes the affection. The worst part, he thinks, is that Bakugou's never going to fully understand just how good and talented he is. He can say it until he's blue in the face but it's one thing to hear it and another thing to accept it. ]
Your ass is too far for me to pat, but I'm going to keep telling you how amazing you are until I can't, or until you believe it, so you better get used to it.
[Midoriya is lucky there’s fingers in his hair. A guilty pleasure he only gets with Midoriya. Very, very rarely with Kirishima because he gets embarrassed and disgruntled, and Kirishima does it teasingly not in soft earnest. Midoriya is the one that brings goosebumps out on his skin. Makes him crave more, want to nuzzle his head into the hands.
He hates it.
His breath comes in low, gentle waves which grow longer and deeper the more they lie in the quiet, the longer Midoriya’s fingers are threaded in his wild hair. Lightly, occasionally, he’ll twitch at the arms, the legs. Not gone completely, not when he murmurs, but close. Midoriya’s solid warmth is a tough bed to resist, and it hadn’t helped to get the cover pulled over.]
Don’t matter... what... mm... Dumbass...
[Who is the real dumbass here? Him. Laid out in another tiny hospital bed on top of another man when they’re both beat to hell and back.] Just... get better... idiot. I’ll kill you... [The nurse that comes suddenly in is just loud enough for him to jump softly all over without rousing completely. Honestly, the nurse is stunned and then also embarassed. It looks quite suspect at first.
And then it looks unsafe, and she softly chastises them for not behaving appropriately in their own beds.]
[ He makes a low mhm noise at the running commentary, his eyes sliding shut as he keeps up the idle motion of combing through Bakugou's messy hair, pleased when he seems to relax but then the nurse is here and Midoriya flattens his hand against Bakugou's head, rubbing warm circles against his scalp, talking quietly. He winds up with a photo sent to him via email, terribly pleased with himself because when he gets a new phone that's absolutely going as his background.
The next day passes horrifically slow. Everyone else comes in throughout visiting hours and Midoriya gets hugged approximately fifty times by his crying mother which makes him cry.
Blessedly, the others bring his go bag, stocked with fresh clothes he'll eventually be able to put on but more importantly, a replacement phone, his notebook(s) and after he manages to bribe Todoroki and Uraraka into it the next day they bring him another bag.
Rather than clothes or other supplies, they've snuck in an assortment of takeout and snacks for them to squirrel away while they're stuck there. The bag is set in his lap and they apologetically have to leave to go do other things, but once they're gone and Midoriya's certain the nurses aren't going to come in and bust them, he gingerly makes his way over to Bakugou's bed and sits on the edge, settling the back onto Bakugou's thighs lightly. ]
[Being in a room with Midoriya is the worst (and good for him). It means almost every one of their peers comes in to see them—him included—on top of Midoriya’s mother, on top of his own mother. By the end, even with them spread out over the length of a day or two days, he’s tired and likewise relieved when it’s again only him and Midoriya.
The other gets a grunt, and his eyes lower to the bag propped on his lap. He doesn’t dig through it at first, just skims what he can with his eyes. Dang. Midoriya out here getting the good shit from everyone else.] We’re gonna fucking get in trouble for this shit.
Where d’you plan to even hide this, huh?
[The book in his hand lowers as his eyes lift to Midoriya’s face, peering curiously between Midoriya’s eyes, searching. Finally, he lifts one hand and rummages gently and curiously in the bag to see what all Midoriya has pilfered from the outside world. Wow, they’ll be in so much trouble. Whatever. This makes up for having to be stuck so long in the hospital.]
You realize that technically, you’re discharged right, idiot? You just keep hanging around like my fucking visitor. [Stupid. Not that he actually minds.] They won’t take your damn cast off any faster because you’re here.
[ If there are a few of Bakugou's favorite snacks in there, well, Midoriya's not going to claim any credit for it, because he certainly didn't give them a list of all of Bakugou's favorite snacks. ]
They might confiscate it but it won't be too bad.
[ All the more reason to just eat all of this now, really. Midoriya plucks out a package of kit-kats and tears open one half, snapping it neatly along the lines so that he can offer Bakugou half. His half, he pops into his mouth and takes a bite out of rather than pulling off a piece like a civilized person. ]
Sure, but I like being here with you and you'd probably get pretty bored anyway. [ Bakugou can absolutely keep himself entertained, but Midoriya wants to stay and really, he ought to anyway while he doesn't have full access to One for All. It's not a matter of him needing to be protected, or Bakugou needing it, but with their statuses, they both effectively have targets on their back and Midoriya knows that he's basically a magnet for trouble. ] I'll just put it in my go-bag; the nurses won't go through it. We'll just make sure we wrap the wrappers up in tissues.
[ Someone has perfected the art of sneaking good food into hospitals, almost like he spent a great deal of time injured in them. Hm. ]
Slowly, one of Bakugou's thin brows rise questioningly. Or maybe judgingly. Or maybe suspiciously. All of everything. Red eyes peer at the offered Kit Kat. He isn't a super huge fan of sweets, but whatever. Kit Kats were a show of good luck.
Begrudgingly, he reaches out and takes it, sliding it into his mouth not like a savage, but one piece at a time. He chews the first bite, and then sucks on the rest, lets it sit in his mouth with his cheeks tight and his lips together while he continues to dig through the bag.
HM. Also weird how there's a lot of favorites in here. His eyes sneak a pointed glance at Midoriya for a second. Mhm. He's not stupid (sometimes).
Like a sneaky raccoon, he carefully pulls a small bag of Karamucho out of the bag and deposits it in his lap safely until he can get finished with the Kit Kat. He's already opening it by tugging on each side while the Kit Kat melts on his tongue.]
Hide it in tissue, huh? Sounds like someone's a fucking expert on hiding food in hospitals.
[ He's great at the big-eyed innocent looks, so long as you don't actually know him. Earnest innocence and feigned are two very different things and while it works on people who don't know him, it's also the least convincing thing ever with people who do. While Bakugou digs through the bag, Midoriya finishes off the rest of the candy and balls up the wrapper, returning the look when he gets it like he's daring Bakugou to call him out on it. ]
I'm not in them as often, now, but...
[ One shoulder - his good one, lifts and falls in a lazy shrug as he reaches over into the bag and snags an onigiri, unwrapping it a little clumsily. One thing he doesn't expect is how difficult it is when his hand is wrapped like this; he's been so careful about his arms after everything at UA that it's a little jarring every time he remembers the cast and what it might mean.
There's nothing he can do about that now, though, so for the moment he scoots closer and holds the wrapper against his arm, fighting with it as he talks. ]
Iida said that it was probably pretty telling that I had a list of things they knew to get me in the hospital but everyone is always kind enough to bring them even when I didn't ask. [ Midoriya pauses and gives Bakugou a little smile and sideways glance. ] Full disclosure, he's probably going to bring a melon if he hasn't already.
[Sliding one or two of the hot potato sticks into his mouth, Bakugou purposefully watches Midoriya struggle with the wrapped onigiri for a while. Look, he may secret have a thing for this idiot, but he won't let that stop him from occasionally being an asshole about things.]
We're not at the goddamn beach. [Iida, wtf, don't bring them a damn melON AT THE HOSPITAL.] Stop. [Reaching out, he sweeps his hand in and snatches the onigiri away.] You look like an idiot. [Carefully, easily, he opens the plastic--
--glances up, somewhat mischievous, somewhat knowing, an almost kind of bedroom eyes in a strange way, and then he lifts the onigiri to take a frustratingly off-center bite out of the side of the peak of it. He hands it back to Midoriya with a similarly daring look--say some shit to him, he wants it.]
I'm banning them all from coming back in here. They're a pain in my damn ass.
[But he got these treats from them. And he got some treats from Kirishima, plus a few books and comics to keep him busy with what the new phone and the television won't.]
[ He won't let himself be frustrated with it, but he is, at the same time. Everything takes so much longer one-handed and this cast itches. The healing and the itching is the worst part of all of this. Maybe he can see if they'll hurry the healing up if he agrees to sleep twice as much. Probably not, but he's going to try. ]
No one appreciates how cool thumbs are until you don't have two of them to use.
[ Really, the bite shouldn't surprise him. It's peak Bakugou, but more than that it's this weirdly intimate thing, not being annoyed about the bite, sharing silly food on the hospital bed. He's had moments with others in the hospital, of course. Most heroes are decent with people because you have to be, and Midoriya knows he's pretty good at getting people to talk to him, at being friends, but with Bakugou, always with Bakugou it's different. ]
You know if you tried they probably wouldn't listen anyway. We'd have Uraraka floating people up to the window. [ Their friends are good but also A Lot and know Bakugou well enough to not leave anything alone. Midoriya eats the rest of the snack without minding that Bakugou's taken a bite out of it. The next one he tosses into Bakugou's lap, expectantly, but he looks away a moment later. There's something he's been considering, sitting on, but hasn't quite known how to ask. He fully expects Bakugou to say no, and knows that it might be a little unfair to ask this but, well. All in. ] Kacchan, before you give it back to me, I wanted to know if we could...try a few things with it.
[The only good thing about the cast is the fact everyone else signed it, and as much as Midoriya complains, Bakugou is well aware and waiting for when Midoriya bawls over it being broken during removal. Idiot.
He watches the other eat the onigiri he bit out of quietly, lacking the fuel of Midoriya making a fuss over it, a reason to get him to keep being mean. He’s ran out of a lot of that in recent years: bullying fuel, even from the person adjacent to him. No one takes his bullshit with fear anymore; no one takes it at all, and so he’s left slowly growing softer and better for it. Learning there’s no path down the route of abuse, only a dead end. They’re literally killing his old self with kindness.
When the onigiri is chunked at him, he catches it in his palm before it can land in his lap and smash the potato sticks. But maybe he doesn’t want this one. Just Midoriya’s. So he does the same thing: opens it up and takes a bite out of the side of the peak, and then he hands it across to Midoriya.]
The hell is on your mind, nerd? Didn’t I tell you I wasn’t your fucking experiment?
[The circumstances had been, uh... really different, but whatever. The look he’s giving says Midoriya is going to have to keep talking, going to have to convince him. Explain.]
Edited (wait i forgot to respond to the onigiri fuck) Date: 2018-11-22 02:06 pm (UTC)
[ They won't let him frame it, which is bullshit (but also fair because the point was made that until he stops breaking bones or needing casts on a couple times a year basis he can't frame every one.) Instead he diligently takes photos of the doodles and sets the most recent ones as class A's contact photos if they're particularly good.
The onigiri is passed back to him with another bite out of it; Midoirya doesn't look surprised and it's unclear if he wanted that to happen or not. Either way he's demolishing it in two quick bites, finally a little less hungry. ]
You're not so that's why you can tell me no. [ It's important that Bakugou knows that because there's a difference between the sort of quirk measurement tests they went through their first year with Aizawa and the kind of information Midoriya wants. It also depends on how quickly he heals, and if the other villains out there decide not to cause too much trouble before Midoriya himself heals. ] The way, um, it works, means it's stockpiling ability, power, and then transferring it if the owner wants it to. But I was thinking about it, and the way that it worked... well, if those two combined and became it I don't think it's ever been combined with a quirk like yours before. So I'm curious if it's going to enhance your strength, or your explosions, or both.
[Gently, his face bunches around he lips and the brows. He seems to be debating, but somewhat skeptical about fucking around with One For All. Mostly since he doesn’t know shit all about it aside from what has been explained to him by All Might and Midoriya. Messing with such a powerful, particular, and maybe fragile power feels... dangerous.
And Bakugou likes danger, but fair danger. Knowable danger. Danger while following the rules.
His eyes lift from the bag of snacks to watch Midoriya finish the onigiri.] So you’re saying it could’ve made me fucking stronger or something. [It’s not a question. His eyes flicker across Midoriya’s face, and then he suddenly reaches out to swipe his thumb over the edge of Midoriya’s lip, knocking away a grain of sticky rice.]
I don’t think it’s some great idea to fuck around with this kinda thing. But... if you wanna find out of some shit... fine. I guess a little won’t hurt nothing. But the point is for you to get fucking better so I can shove it back in you or whatever. All Might chose your dumbass, not me, so it’s your responsibility. We can’t wait around forever with it split.
[ It seems...feasible. They won't know for sure, though. There's also the risk that if it does make Bakugou stronger, it might risk damaging him. He hadn't considered that until this very moment and now he's weighing if it's actually worth it or if Bakugou's quirk will protect him with the enhanced durability along with the fact that he's had a quirk long enough and knows how to use it. Maybe they ought to start small. ]
I mean...there's a chance. There's no way to really know until we test it.
[ A hand is suddenly coming for his face and rather than flinching, Midoriya dares to curl fingers around his wrist and press a kiss to his palm, shameless, before letting it drop and acting like nothing happened. Warm cheeks give him away, even if he'll never admit it.]
Hey, I'm almost perfectly fine at this point. The cast is gonna come off and I'll probably have to do some physical therapy, or, well, more but that's expected. Besides, if something happens, I can still act, I just won't be entirely...myself, I guess?
[ His hand slides over Bakugou's knee, settling warm and heavy there, not reaching for any of the snacks. ]
You need to get discharged from the hospital, first, you know.
[Wow, stop trying to make him embarassed in the hospital! And, like, maybe turned on a little. The worst possible place. The hand on his knee doesn’t help, heavy and warm and scarred at the edge of the wrist down, but he doesn’t brush it off at all.]
I’m fine, idiot. I’ll probably be released tomorrow or something. They’re just keeping me fucking here because they think I’m gonna tear the stitches.
[He would.
For a bit, he won’t look Midoriya in the face, not with the hand on his knee. His eyes flicker over the Karamucho bag, the bigger one with the rest of the goods inside. Like Midoriya, his face may be a little red at the edges.] Might as well see what the fuck it can do before it goes back. Besides, you’re only getting this shit when you aren’t some half dried up loser with a worthless arm. Legs don’t mean shit.
[Finally, his gaze lifts to Midoriya again.] Better hide this before the nurses come back for their rounds. I’ll be pissed if it gets confiscated. [He’s trying to find something to bitch about so he doesn’t have to say something sappy.]
[ There will be no tearing of stitches for any reason, but especially not because he got Bakugou too riled up by knee-touching, thanks. ]
...That's not exactly an unrealistic worry here.
[ It's a very valid concern and Midoriya fully intends to make certain that Bakugou doesn't do anything stupid like tear his stitches, which means he's grabbing the bag and obediently wrapping it up. It's placed underneath his pillow on his bed for the time being and the wrappers are hidden away a moment later. Outside of the bag of Karamucho there's no evidence. It's a little bit clumsy with only one good arm but he manages and as soon as it's done he's back on Bakugou's cot, hand back on his knee again. ]
Well, if they do let you go home tomorrow, you're still going to have to take it at least a little easy, right? Or are they going to take the stitches out too?
[Uh, WOW? He looks irritably incredulous about the almost accusation.] Oi! I won't bust the fuckin' stitches! [Midoriya is so lucky--fleeing to hide the bag, and he's suddenly lacking the person to throw a tantrum at.
So he grumbles and shifts a bit on the bed, taking the bag of potato sticks from his lap and instead putting it beside his thigh on one side--the side away from the door so it's hidden.]
I'm gonna do what the hell I wanna.
No. [He sounds a little like a petulant child answering questions, mumbling.] They said they dissolve on their own. I just can't rip them before that happens. They sped up the healing, but it'll still need a half a week or whatever to heal completely.
It doesn't even hurt as much as my fucking ass hurts from the booster shot they had to give me for tetanus.
[ Midoriya shifts so that his body acts as some sort of guard between the door and Bakugou's snacks, the same way he does when they're sleeping in the same bed together. It's not the snacks that need protecting, of course, but it's a simple thing that makes him feel better usually. ]
So nothing too strenuous, then. [ Midoriya's brow furrows and he nods like he's considering it, but a moment later the stupid smile on his face undoes any of that seriousness. ] I'd offer to kiss it better but that probably falls under strenuous activity, huh?
[ And before Bakugou can take a swipe at him he's moving out of the way, heading for his bag to tug a zippered hoodie on. It looks as stupid as it probably sounds; he's still got an arm in a cast, but the wrist portion has been cut off so it's about as easy to do possible with one functional arm, and it keeps him warm. ]
In all seriousness, then, we'll want to wait on testing anything out until we get the all clear here. The results wouldn't be entirely accurate anyway, right?
[Midoriya is lucky about the second escape. Not that Bakugou has the energy to try to punch the guy--but yeah. He's embarrassed about the comment even if his face only colors just slightly and just for a few seconds. (The ears are what're really red briefly.)
With a soft, long groanish huff, he drops back against the pillow and the raised top end of the hospital bed.] I hate fucking waiting around doing nothing. I'm gonna go fucking crazy in this place. [He's not sure how Midoriya spent so much time in the infirmary.
House arrest almost did him in; he's dying with this short stint.] I just wanna leave. [There's something comforting about being in his own apartment. Hell, even Midoriya's apartment. It's not... a hospital.
A few moments pass, and he eats a handful more of the spicy potato sticks. With his clean hand, he folds the previously read book closed and puts it out of the way.] Deku. [It's a bit out of nowhere by his tone, more serious than the complaining from before.]
Why did me dying matter so much to you that you'd give me it?
[ He could go to his cot but instead he drags a chair over, sitting in it rather than on the bed. He's pretty sure he's got the nurse schedule down in his head which means they'll be coming in shortly and the last thing either of them need is to get chastised again for being on the same bed. Already one of the nurses gives both of them a look when she comes in and Midoriya returns it with a bright, sunny smile because that usually manages to be distracting and he's not above using it. ]
I know. Sitting around waiting is the worst. [ Well, no, being dead is the worst but sitting around without anything to do is probably a pretty close second. Midoriya folds his arms delicately onto the bed and rests his cheek on top of his un-covered forearm. He's not gazing at Bakugou, but he's watching him eat, a little drowsy. He'll probably fall asleep given the chance, still recovering from the healing but then --
Ah. The question. He knew Bakugou would ask it eventually but he's been weighing his answer over and over because he's not sure what to say. There are some things he just...can't say. Some things are too much for this fragile, tentative...whatever this is, for either of them to even consider addressing it. Answering that he would have given it to Todoroki, or Uraraka, or a few of the others if he absolutely had to, if it was the last resort isn't the answer either. ] I'll tell you, but I want to know what you think, first.
[Honestly, he knows why. Or, at least, he assumes why because Midoriya's why isn't far off from his own why, or the why he would give if he had done the exact same thing.
But he's also stubborn and a fool idiot. He's not going to say what Midoriya really wants to hear, not yet, because it'll risk him a moment or embarrassment. The fact it's a cover-up is obvious for Midoriya, however.]
'Cause you're a good-for-nothing who always tries to save everyone else with the most dumbass plan imaginable.
[There's just too much to put together for it to be so easily dismissed this way. The fact that Bakugou doesn't break Midoriya's hand or arm every time he's touched. The fact Bakugou even returns kisses at all. The fact that Bakugou even instigates a lot of the sex.
The fact that there's sometimes late night texts which say, Go to bed. or Call me.
The fact this has been an ongoing thing since circa U.A. first-to-second year, a whopping--what? Four, five years? Five years of dedicated touching, and fucking, and kissing sprinkled into rivalry.
He wants Midoriya to tell him without him having to admit to anything first. Just in case.]
[ Truthfully, Midoriya isn't looking for a declaration of love. It'd be nice, sure, but he doesn't need to hear it right now to know that he means something to Bakugou. It's obvious; Bakugou doesn't spend time with people he doesn't like in some capacity and he has little to no tolerance for idiots or people who waste his time or energy. More than that, Midoriya knows that they're still not really in a place where they can talk about these kinds of things yet. Not the way they should be able to, not the way he wants to be able to. Maybe with enough time, maybe with enough patience but not now, not yet.
His cheek lifts from on top of his arm and his now freed hand settles itself back on Bakugou's knee, rather than his hand or anywhere else. Close, but not so close it's too much because Bakugou is still like an overlarge, skittish cat and Midoriya knows he has to be careful. ]
I did it because when I think back to nearly every important moment of my life, it's never just me there. You're there too. Even... [ Midoriya pauses a moment, just a breath and then continues on. ] Even the bad, early on. And I think about what would happen if you weren't there to drive me, to push me, to inspire me and it's kind of terrifying, really. You push me to be a better person, a better hero, and the idea of waking up in a world without you there is...
[ Awful. Terrifying. Real, maybe, if this hadn't happened. He could have woken up in the hospital, been discharged and had to go to a funeral, maybe. ]
It's too much. I won't let it happen, not if there's anything I can do to stop it. I did it because I know that you're only going to get better, and stronger, and more amazing and I want to be there to see it. I want to push myself to be just as good as you are, which means you need to be there.
[Oh no. The reply is like a hot slap in the face; it startles him and also quickly, jerkingly humbles him. It's a reply he half expected (because it's Midoriya), but a reply he didn't want to hear because the words make his ears sting fiercely.
Naturally, he turns his head just a bit to the side and looks away, after first visibly, for a second, appearing shocked. His brows then, of course, sourly bunch in the middle of his forehead, and his eyes narrow, his lips thin out.
The admiration is beginning to wear on him. It's not like the admiration received in middle school, in elementary school. This admiration is undeserved, and it forces him to think about the many reasons why. The stack upon stack, the pile upon pile of examples of why and how he's been garbage to the fucker who continues to idolize him almost as much as All Might.]
You're so fucking stupid... [For thinking the world of him, for giving him goddamn One For All to save his sorry life. He may be confident in his abilities, but he has a whole lot of self-loathing packed away under the determination.] I wasn't... [A pause. His voice lowers more; he won't look at Midoriya still.] I wasn't fucking worth it... Not for that... Not for... it.
It's not mine. [He finally looks.] And I don't want it, your stupid ass quirk. [The "stupid ass" part sounds like a lie.] I ain't got time to let you crawl your ass to Number One just because I died. I wouldn't have given up so easily, jackass. So you should have kept it. I don't need it just because some pole got shoved through me.
I should've punched your damn lights out with it after you pulled that shit.
Edited (dammit html) Date: 2018-11-23 05:44 am (UTC)
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2018-11-21 09:29 pm (UTC)What the hell? I SAID, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE... hell... you're...
[A soft exhale leaves him, and then he swallows. The look on Midoriya's face draws all of the ire right out of him for some reason, a far cry from when the mere glance of Midoriya's freckled and round-eyed head would fuel his rage and envy.]
Cut it the fuck out. I said I... [Midoriya isn't gonna listen to him period. This is a useless battle.] So what if I fucking did, huh? Don't give me that shit...
You were-- [The rolling concerns get wedged in the bottle neck of his filtered throat.] If you would have seen your dumbass face in that hole! You were fucking dead! I called you a hundred times, and you wouldn't open your goddamn eyes! What was I supposed to fucing do!
no subject
Date: 2018-11-21 09:42 pm (UTC)You are so loud.
[ He sounds achingly affectionate, though, not angry or condescending. If anything, he's so pleased that he doesn't know what to do with himself, warm down to his bones at such a little thing that means so much to him. Of course, nothing can be easy, because Bakugou continues and his smile fades a little at the edge. ]
I won't let that happen again. [ There's no way to know of course, but he's going to do this best to make sure that nothing like this ever happens again, that he's strong enough to withstand something like that. They had assumed the League wouldn't attack when it was so many of them together but that quirk. The smoke had knocked everyone out, but he doesn't know for how long. He doesn't have his notebook with him, either, but hopefully when everyone comes to visit they'll bring it. ] You were still amazing, Kacchan. You know that right?
no subject
Date: 2018-11-21 09:49 pm (UTC)Don't promise me bullshit, Deku. [At least he doesn't sound completely offended, more... he understands who Izuku Midoriya really is, understands what kind of fate awaits. He thought that already, back when they were young, didn't he? When he yelled at Midoriya for the same thing.
That the future would scare him to death, snatch Midoriya right out of his hands like the other was made of paper.] I'm not a damn moron.
Just... shut up. [His voice loses the peak, and his head loses the strength. It lowers down until he can tuck it against Midoriya's shoulder from across the chest. He doesn't want to look Midoriya in the eyes and listen to uncertain reassurances.] We wouldn't... have been in that shit to start if I was amazing.
Stop patting my fucking ass.
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Date: 2018-11-21 10:16 pm (UTC)I can promise you I'll do my best.
[ His head lowers back down and Midoriya goes back to carding his fingers through his hair, not unlike petting a large, unruly cat that isn't ever fully certain if it likes the affection. The worst part, he thinks, is that Bakugou's never going to fully understand just how good and talented he is. He can say it until he's blue in the face but it's one thing to hear it and another thing to accept it. ]
Your ass is too far for me to pat, but I'm going to keep telling you how amazing you are until I can't, or until you believe it, so you better get used to it.
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Date: 2018-11-21 11:00 pm (UTC)[Midoriya is lucky there’s fingers in his hair. A guilty pleasure he only gets with Midoriya. Very, very rarely with Kirishima because he gets embarrassed and disgruntled, and Kirishima does it teasingly not in soft earnest. Midoriya is the one that brings goosebumps out on his skin. Makes him crave more, want to nuzzle his head into the hands.
He hates it.
His breath comes in low, gentle waves which grow longer and deeper the more they lie in the quiet, the longer Midoriya’s fingers are threaded in his wild hair. Lightly, occasionally, he’ll twitch at the arms, the legs. Not gone completely, not when he murmurs, but close. Midoriya’s solid warmth is a tough bed to resist, and it hadn’t helped to get the cover pulled over.]
Don’t matter... what... mm... Dumbass...
[Who is the real dumbass here? Him. Laid out in another tiny hospital bed on top of another man when they’re both beat to hell and back.] Just... get better... idiot. I’ll kill you... [The nurse that comes suddenly in is just loud enough for him to jump softly all over without rousing completely. Honestly, the nurse is stunned and then also embarassed. It looks quite suspect at first.
And then it looks unsafe, and she softly chastises them for not behaving appropriately in their own beds.]
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Date: 2018-11-21 11:19 pm (UTC)The next day passes horrifically slow. Everyone else comes in throughout visiting hours and Midoriya gets hugged approximately fifty times by his crying mother which makes him cry.
Blessedly, the others bring his go bag, stocked with fresh clothes he'll eventually be able to put on but more importantly, a replacement phone, his notebook(s) and after he manages to bribe Todoroki and Uraraka into it the next day they bring him another bag.
Rather than clothes or other supplies, they've snuck in an assortment of takeout and snacks for them to squirrel away while they're stuck there. The bag is set in his lap and they apologetically have to leave to go do other things, but once they're gone and Midoriya's certain the nurses aren't going to come in and bust them, he gingerly makes his way over to Bakugou's bed and sits on the edge, settling the back onto Bakugou's thighs lightly. ]
Better than hospital food, yeah?
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Date: 2018-11-22 01:58 am (UTC)The other gets a grunt, and his eyes lower to the bag propped on his lap. He doesn’t dig through it at first, just skims what he can with his eyes. Dang. Midoriya out here getting the good shit from everyone else.] We’re gonna fucking get in trouble for this shit.
Where d’you plan to even hide this, huh?
[The book in his hand lowers as his eyes lift to Midoriya’s face, peering curiously between Midoriya’s eyes, searching. Finally, he lifts one hand and rummages gently and curiously in the bag to see what all Midoriya has pilfered from the outside world. Wow, they’ll be in so much trouble. Whatever. This makes up for having to be stuck so long in the hospital.]
You realize that technically, you’re discharged right, idiot? You just keep hanging around like my fucking visitor. [Stupid. Not that he actually minds.] They won’t take your damn cast off any faster because you’re here.
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Date: 2018-11-22 02:04 am (UTC)They might confiscate it but it won't be too bad.
[ All the more reason to just eat all of this now, really. Midoriya plucks out a package of kit-kats and tears open one half, snapping it neatly along the lines so that he can offer Bakugou half. His half, he pops into his mouth and takes a bite out of rather than pulling off a piece like a civilized person. ]
Sure, but I like being here with you and you'd probably get pretty bored anyway. [ Bakugou can absolutely keep himself entertained, but Midoriya wants to stay and really, he ought to anyway while he doesn't have full access to One for All. It's not a matter of him needing to be protected, or Bakugou needing it, but with their statuses, they both effectively have targets on their back and Midoriya knows that he's basically a magnet for trouble. ] I'll just put it in my go-bag; the nurses won't go through it. We'll just make sure we wrap the wrappers up in tissues.
[ Someone has perfected the art of sneaking good food into hospitals, almost like he spent a great deal of time injured in them. Hm. ]
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Date: 2018-11-22 05:17 am (UTC)[Wow, weird how that's a thing.
Slowly, one of Bakugou's thin brows rise questioningly. Or maybe judgingly. Or maybe suspiciously. All of everything. Red eyes peer at the offered Kit Kat. He isn't a super huge fan of sweets, but whatever. Kit Kats were a show of good luck.
Begrudgingly, he reaches out and takes it, sliding it into his mouth not like a savage, but one piece at a time. He chews the first bite, and then sucks on the rest, lets it sit in his mouth with his cheeks tight and his lips together while he continues to dig through the bag.
HM. Also weird how there's a lot of favorites in here. His eyes sneak a pointed glance at Midoriya for a second. Mhm. He's not stupid (sometimes).
Like a sneaky raccoon, he carefully pulls a small bag of Karamucho out of the bag and deposits it in his lap safely until he can get finished with the Kit Kat. He's already opening it by tugging on each side while the Kit Kat melts on his tongue.]
Hide it in tissue, huh? Sounds like someone's a fucking expert on hiding food in hospitals.
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Date: 2018-11-22 05:32 am (UTC)I'm not in them as often, now, but...
[ One shoulder - his good one, lifts and falls in a lazy shrug as he reaches over into the bag and snags an onigiri, unwrapping it a little clumsily. One thing he doesn't expect is how difficult it is when his hand is wrapped like this; he's been so careful about his arms after everything at UA that it's a little jarring every time he remembers the cast and what it might mean.
There's nothing he can do about that now, though, so for the moment he scoots closer and holds the wrapper against his arm, fighting with it as he talks. ]
Iida said that it was probably pretty telling that I had a list of things they knew to get me in the hospital but everyone is always kind enough to bring them even when I didn't ask. [ Midoriya pauses and gives Bakugou a little smile and sideways glance. ] Full disclosure, he's probably going to bring a melon if he hasn't already.
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Date: 2018-11-22 05:44 am (UTC)We're not at the goddamn beach. [Iida, wtf, don't bring them a damn melON AT THE HOSPITAL.] Stop. [Reaching out, he sweeps his hand in and snatches the onigiri away.] You look like an idiot. [Carefully, easily, he opens the plastic--
--glances up, somewhat mischievous, somewhat knowing, an almost kind of bedroom eyes in a strange way, and then he lifts the onigiri to take a frustratingly off-center bite out of the side of the peak of it. He hands it back to Midoriya with a similarly daring look--say some shit to him, he wants it.]
I'm banning them all from coming back in here. They're a pain in my damn ass.
[But he got these treats from them. And he got some treats from Kirishima, plus a few books and comics to keep him busy with what the new phone and the television won't.]
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Date: 2018-11-22 05:51 am (UTC)No one appreciates how cool thumbs are until you don't have two of them to use.
[ Really, the bite shouldn't surprise him. It's peak Bakugou, but more than that it's this weirdly intimate thing, not being annoyed about the bite, sharing silly food on the hospital bed. He's had moments with others in the hospital, of course. Most heroes are decent with people because you have to be, and Midoriya knows he's pretty good at getting people to talk to him, at being friends, but with Bakugou, always with Bakugou it's different. ]
You know if you tried they probably wouldn't listen anyway. We'd have Uraraka floating people up to the window. [ Their friends are good but also A Lot and know Bakugou well enough to not leave anything alone. Midoriya eats the rest of the snack without minding that Bakugou's taken a bite out of it. The next one he tosses into Bakugou's lap, expectantly, but he looks away a moment later. There's something he's been considering, sitting on, but hasn't quite known how to ask. He fully expects Bakugou to say no, and knows that it might be a little unfair to ask this but, well. All in. ] Kacchan, before you give it back to me, I wanted to know if we could...try a few things with it.
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Date: 2018-11-22 02:04 pm (UTC)He watches the other eat the onigiri he bit out of quietly, lacking the fuel of Midoriya making a fuss over it, a reason to get him to keep being mean. He’s ran out of a lot of that in recent years: bullying fuel, even from the person adjacent to him. No one takes his bullshit with fear anymore; no one takes it at all, and so he’s left slowly growing softer and better for it. Learning there’s no path down the route of abuse, only a dead end. They’re literally killing his old self with kindness.
When the onigiri is chunked at him, he catches it in his palm before it can land in his lap and smash the potato sticks. But maybe he doesn’t want this one. Just Midoriya’s. So he does the same thing: opens it up and takes a bite out of the side of the peak, and then he hands it across to Midoriya.]
The hell is on your mind, nerd? Didn’t I tell you I wasn’t your fucking experiment?
[The circumstances had been, uh... really different, but whatever. The look he’s giving says Midoriya is going to have to keep talking, going to have to convince him. Explain.]
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Date: 2018-11-22 06:21 pm (UTC)The onigiri is passed back to him with another bite out of it; Midoirya doesn't look surprised and it's unclear if he wanted that to happen or not. Either way he's demolishing it in two quick bites, finally a little less hungry. ]
You're not so that's why you can tell me no. [ It's important that Bakugou knows that because there's a difference between the sort of quirk measurement tests they went through their first year with Aizawa and the kind of information Midoriya wants. It also depends on how quickly he heals, and if the other villains out there decide not to cause too much trouble before Midoriya himself heals. ] The way, um, it works, means it's stockpiling ability, power, and then transferring it if the owner wants it to. But I was thinking about it, and the way that it worked... well, if those two combined and became it I don't think it's ever been combined with a quirk like yours before. So I'm curious if it's going to enhance your strength, or your explosions, or both.
[ maybe it just makes bakugou extra sweaty ]
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Date: 2018-11-22 07:13 pm (UTC)And Bakugou likes danger, but fair danger. Knowable danger. Danger while following the rules.
His eyes lift from the bag of snacks to watch Midoriya finish the onigiri.] So you’re saying it could’ve made me fucking stronger or something. [It’s not a question. His eyes flicker across Midoriya’s face, and then he suddenly reaches out to swipe his thumb over the edge of Midoriya’s lip, knocking away a grain of sticky rice.]
I don’t think it’s some great idea to fuck around with this kinda thing. But... if you wanna find out of some shit... fine. I guess a little won’t hurt nothing. But the point is for you to get fucking better so I can shove it back in you or whatever. All Might chose your dumbass, not me, so it’s your responsibility. We can’t wait around forever with it split.
Otherwise, you’re useless.
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Date: 2018-11-22 07:31 pm (UTC)I mean...there's a chance. There's no way to really know until we test it.
[ A hand is suddenly coming for his face and rather than flinching, Midoriya dares to curl fingers around his wrist and press a kiss to his palm, shameless, before letting it drop and acting like nothing happened. Warm cheeks give him away, even if he'll never admit it.]
Hey, I'm almost perfectly fine at this point. The cast is gonna come off and I'll probably have to do some physical therapy, or, well, more but that's expected. Besides, if something happens, I can still act, I just won't be entirely...myself, I guess?
[ His hand slides over Bakugou's knee, settling warm and heavy there, not reaching for any of the snacks. ]
You need to get discharged from the hospital, first, you know.
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Date: 2018-11-22 08:48 pm (UTC)I’m fine, idiot. I’ll probably be released tomorrow or something. They’re just keeping me fucking here because they think I’m gonna tear the stitches.
[He would.
For a bit, he won’t look Midoriya in the face, not with the hand on his knee. His eyes flicker over the Karamucho bag, the bigger one with the rest of the goods inside. Like Midoriya, his face may be a little red at the edges.] Might as well see what the fuck it can do before it goes back. Besides, you’re only getting this shit when you aren’t some half dried up loser with a worthless arm. Legs don’t mean shit.
[Finally, his gaze lifts to Midoriya again.] Better hide this before the nurses come back for their rounds. I’ll be pissed if it gets confiscated. [He’s trying to find something to bitch about so he doesn’t have to say something sappy.]
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Date: 2018-11-23 12:08 am (UTC)...That's not exactly an unrealistic worry here.
[ It's a very valid concern and Midoriya fully intends to make certain that Bakugou doesn't do anything stupid like tear his stitches, which means he's grabbing the bag and obediently wrapping it up. It's placed underneath his pillow on his bed for the time being and the wrappers are hidden away a moment later. Outside of the bag of Karamucho there's no evidence. It's a little bit clumsy with only one good arm but he manages and as soon as it's done he's back on Bakugou's cot, hand back on his knee again. ]
Well, if they do let you go home tomorrow, you're still going to have to take it at least a little easy, right? Or are they going to take the stitches out too?
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Date: 2018-11-23 03:15 am (UTC)So he grumbles and shifts a bit on the bed, taking the bag of potato sticks from his lap and instead putting it beside his thigh on one side--the side away from the door so it's hidden.]
I'm gonna do what the hell I wanna.
No. [He sounds a little like a petulant child answering questions, mumbling.] They said they dissolve on their own. I just can't rip them before that happens. They sped up the healing, but it'll still need a half a week or whatever to heal completely.
It doesn't even hurt as much as my fucking ass hurts from the booster shot they had to give me for tetanus.
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Date: 2018-11-23 03:22 am (UTC)So nothing too strenuous, then. [ Midoriya's brow furrows and he nods like he's considering it, but a moment later the stupid smile on his face undoes any of that seriousness. ] I'd offer to kiss it better but that probably falls under strenuous activity, huh?
[ And before Bakugou can take a swipe at him he's moving out of the way, heading for his bag to tug a zippered hoodie on. It looks as stupid as it probably sounds; he's still got an arm in a cast, but the wrist portion has been cut off so it's about as easy to do possible with one functional arm, and it keeps him warm. ]
In all seriousness, then, we'll want to wait on testing anything out until we get the all clear here. The results wouldn't be entirely accurate anyway, right?
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Date: 2018-11-23 04:25 am (UTC)With a soft, long groanish huff, he drops back against the pillow and the raised top end of the hospital bed.] I hate fucking waiting around doing nothing. I'm gonna go fucking crazy in this place. [He's not sure how Midoriya spent so much time in the infirmary.
House arrest almost did him in; he's dying with this short stint.] I just wanna leave. [There's something comforting about being in his own apartment. Hell, even Midoriya's apartment. It's not... a hospital.
A few moments pass, and he eats a handful more of the spicy potato sticks. With his clean hand, he folds the previously read book closed and puts it out of the way.] Deku. [It's a bit out of nowhere by his tone, more serious than the complaining from before.]
Why did me dying matter so much to you that you'd give me it?
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Date: 2018-11-23 04:38 am (UTC)I know. Sitting around waiting is the worst. [ Well, no, being dead is the worst but sitting around without anything to do is probably a pretty close second. Midoriya folds his arms delicately onto the bed and rests his cheek on top of his un-covered forearm. He's not gazing at Bakugou, but he's watching him eat, a little drowsy. He'll probably fall asleep given the chance, still recovering from the healing but then --
Ah. The question. He knew Bakugou would ask it eventually but he's been weighing his answer over and over because he's not sure what to say. There are some things he just...can't say. Some things are too much for this fragile, tentative...whatever this is, for either of them to even consider addressing it. Answering that he would have given it to Todoroki, or Uraraka, or a few of the others if he absolutely had to, if it was the last resort isn't the answer either. ] I'll tell you, but I want to know what you think, first.
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Date: 2018-11-23 05:08 am (UTC)But he's also stubborn and a fool idiot. He's not going to say what Midoriya really wants to hear, not yet, because it'll risk him a moment or embarrassment. The fact it's a cover-up is obvious for Midoriya, however.]
'Cause you're a good-for-nothing who always tries to save everyone else with the most dumbass plan imaginable.
[There's just too much to put together for it to be so easily dismissed this way. The fact that Bakugou doesn't break Midoriya's hand or arm every time he's touched. The fact Bakugou even returns kisses at all. The fact that Bakugou even instigates a lot of the sex.
The fact that there's sometimes late night texts which say, Go to bed. or Call me.
The fact this has been an ongoing thing since circa U.A. first-to-second year, a whopping--what? Four, five years? Five years of dedicated touching, and fucking, and kissing sprinkled into rivalry.
He wants Midoriya to tell him without him having to admit to anything first. Just in case.]
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Date: 2018-11-23 05:22 am (UTC)His cheek lifts from on top of his arm and his now freed hand settles itself back on Bakugou's knee, rather than his hand or anywhere else. Close, but not so close it's too much because Bakugou is still like an overlarge, skittish cat and Midoriya knows he has to be careful. ]
I did it because when I think back to nearly every important moment of my life, it's never just me there. You're there too. Even... [ Midoriya pauses a moment, just a breath and then continues on. ] Even the bad, early on. And I think about what would happen if you weren't there to drive me, to push me, to inspire me and it's kind of terrifying, really. You push me to be a better person, a better hero, and the idea of waking up in a world without you there is...
[ Awful. Terrifying. Real, maybe, if this hadn't happened. He could have woken up in the hospital, been discharged and had to go to a funeral, maybe. ]
It's too much. I won't let it happen, not if there's anything I can do to stop it. I did it because I know that you're only going to get better, and stronger, and more amazing and I want to be there to see it. I want to push myself to be just as good as you are, which means you need to be there.
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Date: 2018-11-23 05:44 am (UTC)Naturally, he turns his head just a bit to the side and looks away, after first visibly, for a second, appearing shocked. His brows then, of course, sourly bunch in the middle of his forehead, and his eyes narrow, his lips thin out.
The admiration is beginning to wear on him. It's not like the admiration received in middle school, in elementary school. This admiration is undeserved, and it forces him to think about the many reasons why. The stack upon stack, the pile upon pile of examples of why and how he's been garbage to the fucker who continues to idolize him almost as much as All Might.]
You're so fucking stupid... [For thinking the world of him, for giving him goddamn One For All to save his sorry life. He may be confident in his abilities, but he has a whole lot of self-loathing packed away under the determination.] I wasn't... [A pause. His voice lowers more; he won't look at Midoriya still.] I wasn't fucking worth it... Not for that... Not for... it.
It's not mine. [He finally looks.] And I don't want it, your stupid ass quirk. [The "stupid ass" part sounds like a lie.] I ain't got time to let you crawl your ass to Number One just because I died. I wouldn't have given up so easily, jackass. So you should have kept it. I don't need it just because some pole got shoved through me.
I should've punched your damn lights out with it after you pulled that shit.
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